Month: January 2023

SHORT STORY: Powdered Creamer Campfires by Chris Garrett

megHan

Powdered Creamer Campfires:
An Are You Afraid of the Dark Fan Fiction Short Story

She doesn’t understand anything that has happened in the last 24 hours. Meghan was in Florida when the day started. But now in the late hours of the night, she is tied up and blindfolded somewhere in the great white north. For what seemed to be hours of walking, she was asked to sit down. Terrified, she began to blindly feel for the ground and came across a bolder or some sort of stone by the feel on her finger tips. The mysterious strangers helped her to her seat.

While she rested in the dark, the smell of pine trees surrounded her along with whistling of the wind. She had a gut feeling that she was somewhere deep in the wilderness . “Why me ?” She kept asking herself. “I never meant harm to anyone.” While Meghan was trying to find answers to why she is in the middle of no where , her kid nappers were prepping for a bond fire.

She could here the snapping of sticks and the striking of matches. As the flames begin to grow and the heat began to intensify, Meghan began to panic and beg. “Oh my god! They are going to burn me alive! Please don’t kill me!!”

Her plea had defused the tension in the Cool Canadian air. Within seconds, the blindfold was taken off. “Relax! Not planning on it.” Meghan couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Writers from across the country sitting around a bond fire. It took a moment to recognize most of them, but as her eyes adjusted to the dark, she realized she knew all culprits in her taking. She’s at least read one published piece of work from everyone in her visual. They were all casually dressed and sitting on stone made benches and thrones. Except one. “Is this some kind of joke? None of you live in this country. What are you doing here? What am I doing here?” Meghan questioned the group surrounding her. “We were chosen. You were chosen.” A man’s voice answered from behind her seat.

“Chosen for what?” As he made his way to the empty stoned throne across from her, she couldn’t help but to recognize his voice.

He stopped at his seat. Still facing away from her as he answered “ Chosen to give others nightmares unlike any they ever had.” He turned towards her with a smile. Meghan’s heart skipped a beat due to the shock of knowing who the ring leader was of the night. It was Chris Garrett. “Welcome to the club, Mrs. Hyden.”

“You’re in for quite a night.” At this point she was speechless. Instead of asking anymore questions, she was curious to see if Chris was going to volunteer the answers as if he already knew what she was going to ask. “This group is famous for being infamous. For years, former members find others to take their place to tell tales of horror and suspense . Tonight, we carry the tradition.” Chris sat down and put his hands over the fire. “Tonight’s tale is about sacrificing everything for what you love.”

He looked around to catch a glimpse of everyone’s reaction. Especially Meghan’s for this was so new to her. He reached into a pouch beside him and scooped up a hand full of powdered creamer. “Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this story…” Before he finished his sentence he launched the powder into the fire causing an uprising in the flames. “The Tale Of The Restless Rockstar.”

“I got in! I got in!” Patrick pushed himself away from his laptop and and crawled onto his bed. He got in the face of his best friend Jack. “I got the job!” Jack still swiping through his phone, never took his eyes off the screen. “Great, what job?” Now Patrick was on all two feet jumping on the bed breaking Jack’s concentration. “You know what job!” “What? The roadie thing?”

For years, Patrick followed his idol. The internationally known recording artist, Drago. He was obsessed. Only a few were selected to be his stage hands. Rumors were that Drago’s stage hands were payed very well and given the rockstar treatment like himself. After months of waiting, the good news had arrived. He would be working for Drago.

A few weeks later, The guys went to Drago’s show in town. This was Patrick’s first show on the tour. Jack wasn’t sure what he would do without his best friend but he was happy for him.

“Look at this place” Patrick was in awe as he approached the stage. The show was not supposed to start for a few hours but the front was set up early so the concert would go on at the time planed. ”You haven’t seen nothing yet!” Drago’s tour manager chimed in. “Hey Chad! It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. This is my best friend, Jack.” Chad smiled and shook his hand. “Hello.” Chad stepped back to speak. “So, here’s the plan, I got you guys 2 all access tour passes. We’ll party a little then we got to get some rest before we hit the next town.” “Sounds like a plan.” “And Jack, Patrick can give you a good recommendation if you’re interested in joining the team. We can have you ready to roll with us by the end of the night.”

Jack took a second to think about his offer. But he was a home body. Patrick loved adventuring and traveling. He just didn’t feel the same. ”I’m good, but thank you for the offer and the passes for tonight.” “Hey! It’s no problem at all. You guys enjoy the show. Patrick, I’ll find you when we’re ready to go.” As the boys roamed around back stage. Patrick found it odd that there was only a handful of backstage crew members present.. maybe everyone is resting up for tonight.They passed a tour bus with all the windows covered up by duct tape and cardboard. The bus was rocking from left to right. “Looks like someone is having fun.” Jack joked.

The boys had a great night watching Drago on stage. His face was covered in black and white paint and has been for years. He looked exactly the same as he did in 1986. He had no shirt on, but only some black denim jeans and an old pair of boots from what they could make out. Drago’s music was so mesmerizing. As if he was the pied piper of metal. Jack had a gut feeling that Drago was more than a musician.

After that night, they went their separate ways. Patrick promised his best friend that he will stay in touch. But Jack had lost almost all contact with him. His social media post went from daily to monthly, to nothing. He would frequent Drago’s social media groups in hopes to find post from Patrick or at least about him. It Seemed like a dead end. Until one day someone replied to a post.

Rick Steady: Hey man! I was in a band that toured with Drago back in the 90’s.

Rick Steady: We need to talk.

Jack pulled up to a beautiful 3 story house. Surrounded by an iron gate. When he knocked on the door, a man in his mid forties had answered. He was medium height chubby gentleman, he was wearing a blue Bandanna on his head and a plethora of necklaces around his neck which dangled around his Iron Maiden tank top that could barely fit him.

Jack looked at him with curiosity. “ Rick?” “Rickey! Who’s at the door?” Rick leaned back to yell. “Don’t worry about it, Mom!. It’s just a friend!” Then he re directed his focus back to his guest. “Are you Jack?” “Um….. yeah.” He responded . “Great, let’s walk.” Jack had shut the door behind Rick and followed as he charged out of the house and into the back yard.

“So, Long story short, Your best friends boss is a 200 year old vampire that uses the rock n roll life style as a front for his identity and feeding time.” Still following behind, Jack tries to make sense of what he just heard. “Wow, how long have you been sitting on that one. “Since people stopped believing my story. I literally saw the guy drain the life out of my band mates.”” How did you escape?”” I agreed to do his bidding for a few years. I became his familiar.” Rick busted open the door to his garage. A combination of Heavy Metal band merch and hunting weapons hung on the wall and covered counter tops.

“What’s a familiar?” “A familiar is a human servant he works for the vamps during the day while they sleep. For example, you’re pal Pat could possibly be one.” “Ok, so what do we do. How can we save him?” Jack asked as he stared at Rick from across his work desk.

Rick begins pulling out tools of the trade for a vampire hunter. He lays out crucifixes, sharp wooden stakes ,etc. Jack inspects the items. “Where did you get all of this?” These tools and relics have been handed down by my family from generation to generation.” Jack was not amused . “Ok! Ok! Some of it came from Amazon and the rest was from EBay. But my point here is that we are going to have to kill Drago.”That’s your great plan?” Rick crossed his arms and nodded.”Great!! Not only is Patrick going to die, we are too!”

For weeks, the two would meet at Rick’s house to plan the slaying of Drago. They studied and practiced using the tools of the trade. They planned a trip to catch an upcoming show. Jack was nervous, but was willing to do anything to save his best friend.

After a four hour drive and a good nights sleep, they arrived at the Toriadora Amphitheater at the peak of the afternoon. With different variations of garlic on their clothing , holy water and crucifixes by their side, they began their search for Drago.

They made their way through the parking lot and into the stage area. They were not prepared for what they were walking into. Rick got in a fighting stance. “It looks like someone beat us here.” The two made their way to stage that was covered with dead bodies of crew members. Some on the stage floor and others hung on the props in the air like puppets on strings. The floor was showered with blood from above. Jack went to the stage in search of Patrick while Rick stood guard with a wooden stake in hand. His heart raced while searching for his best friend but slowed down when he realized that he was no where to be found.

“Help me.” Jack and Rick heard someone in the amphitheater standing room floor. They took the stage staircase down to find Drago’s manager on the floor propped up against the stage.

They rushed to his aid. “What happed here, Chad?” He leaned over to spit up some blood. “ I don’t know, but we got to find Patrick and the others. Can you guys help me up?” Before Rick and Jack helped him to his feet, Chad pulled out two syringes from each pocket. While the men helped him along with an arm wrapped around each of his , Chad injected them with Midazolem . The guys moved quickly from Chad, holding their necks. But not quick enough for they had lost their balance and hit the cement . “Oh come on guys! We knew you were coming”.

Jack had awakened face up in a pitch black room with the sound of paranormal winds howling around him. In the corner of his left eye, he noticed light. He turned his head to find a low wattage lamp with no shade. The soft glow was enough to show a few feet off its surroundings.

What was once some soft scattering and thumping in the room, became louder as he came to his senses, Jack was terrified of what he saw. A few feet above the the lamp, was a body. He watched in horror as the person’s legs would kick and tense up as if they were trying to kick out of submission in mid air.

He quickly began frisking his pockets for protection but soon realized Chad had dis armed him while he was unconscious. He scurried across the floor to grab the lamp. Not knowing his next move, he raised the lamp to get a glance of what he was up against.

Rick Steady’s upper torso was pinned against the ceiling by something or someone. Their legs were wrapped around his waste. Rick looked at Jack with lifeless eyes. As the creature was jerking and pulling at his neck. He could hear the consuming and digesting of meat. Every time Rick would gain consciousness he would begin kicking fiercely, trying to break free. The beast like being with its webbed hands would grab Rick’s head and firmly smash into the ceiling and kept feeding. It was obvious that Rick was not leaving this room alive.

Aggravated by the lamp light, the creature pulled away from his meal. It was Drago, his face covered in blood and faded white paint. He gave Jack an ice cold look. “Eat!” he yelled. “Eat!” Confused and scared, Jack began looking for a way out. But before he could turn around he felt something sharp and cold in his back. He was stabbed.

Someone whispered to him from behind as the knife went deeper into his mid spine area and then shifted towards his upper body. “I’m sorry dude.” Jack hit the ground. Still breathing but could not move, he was paralyzed.

Face down, Jack was able to move his head from a face forwarding position to the side . He saw someone coming from around the corner but couldn’t see a face. “I loved you like a brother. But understand, this is I wanted and I’m great full for all your support now and in the afterlife.” A wild Hyena like laugh came from the person staring down at him. It was his best friend Patrick , but not the Patrick he grew up with. His face was ghoulish grey, his eyes were black and yellow, and his teeth were sharp like a wolf. He got on his knees and began to pat his best friends back.

“I tried my best to disappear, I ignored your calls, stopped all communication. But you just couldn’t leave it alone. And for that I will always appreciate you.” Patrick’s eyes grew wide and he began to foam at the mouth. “ But you have to understand, it’s hard to eat well on the road.” He grabbed Jack by the hair and violently sunk his teeth into the lifeless body of his best friend.

The End

Chris looked up from the fire to catch everyone’s reactions. “In the end Patrick lost everything normal about his life, and Jack lost his life to better his best friend. And if asked, I’m sure he would voluntarily do it again.

Everyone nodded and applauded. Meghan gave a standing ovation. “That was fantastic!” “I’m so glad we brought you here.” Chris went in to continue. “We haven’t had a late night snack in a while.” Meghan was confused. As she began to question Chris’s statement another writer had slit her throat. They grabbed a wine glass and held close to her slit neck blood poured out, and began filling it. Like fine wine, he took a sip, swished it around his mouth and spit it out.

He looked at Meghan as she bled out on twigs and dirt. “Well guys, order up!” He and the other writers retracted their fangs and began to feast upon Mrs Hyden like a vampire all you can eat buffet.

He smiled at his group as he put the fire out. “Meeting adjourned .”

GUEST BOOK REVIEW by Jeff Parsons: Worlds Before Our Own

megHan

Worlds Before Our Own
By: Brad Steiger

Twenty-two years before Technology of the Gods… Seventeen years before Fingerprints of the Gods… Fifteen years before Forbidden Archaeology… …there was Worlds Before Our Own, Brad Steiger’s groundbreaking argument for the existence of a global prehistoric civilization. The evidence Steiger had amassed for such a claim was based primarily upon finds of “erratics” — mysterious “man-made” artifacts found in the deepest, most primordial geological strata. In the past couple of decades the concepts first presented in Worlds Before Our Own have garnered tremendous critical and popular support. This is the book that started it all.
Twenty-two years before Technology of the Gods… Seventeen years before Fingerprints of the Gods… Fifteen years before Forbidden Archaeology… …there was Worlds Before Our Own, Brad Steiger’s groundbreaking argument for the existence of a global prehistoric civilization. The evidence Steiger had amassed for such a claim was based primarily upon finds of “erratics” — mysterious “man-made” artifacts found in the deepest, most primordial geological strata. In the past couple of decades the concepts first presented in Worlds Before Our Own have garnered tremendous critical and popular support. This is the book that started it all.

What if the world is far different than our understanding of it? Understanding formulated and cultivated by an established intellectual community that made up its mind long ago about the way things were supposed to be, despite evidence to the contrary. Naturally, presenting such proof in the form of the book ‘Worlds Before Our Own’ would gather scathing reviews. I’m a fan of this Brad Steiger book because it opened my mind to many possibilities.

Whether we realize it or not, our ideas have been shaped by what we’ve been exposed to, which often corresponds to prevailing thought. Think about it. At one time, the cosmos revolved around Earth. You were considered to be a heretic if you said otherwise. The gorilla was thought to be the imaginations of crazy people until famous experts saw them. The Pyramids, then Stonehenge, then other early sites were considered to be the precursors of civilization. Then, Gobekti Tepe was recently discovered in Turkey. Over 12,000 years old, it was built in the neolithic before the invention of pottery, writing, or the wheel apparently. Planets didn’t exist – of course not – until they were discovered by new technology. UFOs were seen by many people, all considered to be crackpots. Now they’re on military and personal cell phone videos and are being actively discussed by ‘rational’ people.    

This 1978 book obviously has no recent documentation, which begs for an update because the presentation opens your mind to the possibilities of, as the book says, worlds before our own, mysteries hidden by time, doubting opinions, and hidden agendas. I’ve read and reread this book with a healthy amount of skepticism. Many of these accounts originate from people and to state the obvious, not everyone is truthful. But even if only 1% of it is true, it’s simply mind-boggling.

Here’s some of what the book talks about…

At Glen Rose, Texas, hominid footprints, 16” long, are located alongside dinosaur tracks. The 6’ long hominid stride increased to 9’ when running. Either gigantic humanoids existed in the Cretaceous Period or dinosaurs existed in the Pleistocene Era, alongside giants. Or, of course, it’s all a mistake, but footprints and artifact mysteries are not isolated incidents.

Many other tales, written accounts, many scientific, indicate the existence of giants. Not just footprints, but skeletons too, some as tall as 36’ discovered in diverse places. Many cultures and religions mention giants as casually as they mention known historical locations and occurrences.

The old news accounts are fascinating, not just from small press, but from science journals and respectable newspapers as well.    

In addition to the accounts of witnesses, there are physical artifacts that also confound the accepted notion of what we know. A gold necklace found embedded in coal or a metal bell shaped vessel, inlaid with a silver floral design, encased in solid rock. Both removed from far underground, imprints intact within the surrounding matrix. Many examples of these erratics have been found, things which disturb the preconceived notions of history and archaeology. Some examples range closer to an easier acceptance of credibility, such as unparalleled examples of stonework, metallurgy, glassmaking, and electroplating which can’t be reproduced using today’s technology, yet they were available to ancient civilizations. Even more incredible ancient technologies pertain to tales of godlike crystals, manna generators, and flying machines, taken from religious texts and ancient historians.

Did you know that the Great Flood was described by many religions, cultures, and histories? According to some cultures, many related cycles of destruction have occurred after which we continually rebuild. Maybe these events passed on to the realms of legend over the course of forgotten millennia, and while little to no scientific proof exists, that doesn’t mean that something didn’t happen.      

Sometimes, legend only has to go back a century or two. Early American explorers and Indian accounts tell of gigantic flying monsters vaguely similar to the pterodactyl. The creatures could walk, run, fly, and swim, developing a craving for human flesh that nearly destroyed a tribal community. The details of these accounts are astounding.

We all only know what we do until we discover something different. And then, it’s up to us to choose how we handle it. New discoveries are happening all the time. It’s good to have an open mind. This book will introduce you to an ancient world of mystery.

And… after reading this book, you should also try his 2010 book ‘Real Monsters, Gruesome Critters, and Beasts from the Darkside’, regarding folklore and how unnervingly real it can be.

Boo-graphy:
In addition to his two short story books, The Captivating Flames of Madness and Algorithm of Nightmares, Jeff Parsons is published in The Horror Zine, The Horror Zine’s Book of Ghost Stories, Aphelion Webzine, Year’s Best Hardcore Horror Volume 4, Dark Gothic Resurrected Magazine, Chilling Ghost Short Stories, Dystopia Utopia Short Stories, Wax & Wane: A Coven of Witch Tales, Thinking Through Our Fingers, The Moving Finger Writes, Golden Prose & Poetry, Our Dance With Words, The Voices Within, Fireburst: The Inner Circle Writers’ Group, Second Flash Fiction Anthology 2018, SNM Horror Magazine, and Bonded by Blood IV/ V.

SHORT STORY: Mister-Man by Eric Butler

megHan

Mister-Man

Debbie’s jaw clenched in anger as she stared at her son’s tear-streaked face. Another meltdown in public, another long embarrassing walk back to the car while strangers’ stares burrowed into the back of her skull as she did all she could to calm him down. After they arrived home, she locked herself in her bathroom, waiting for his tantrum to stop before facing him again. Her stomach twisted in knots as she struggled to keep her anger in check. Eventually, he quieted down. Debbie waited, taking deep breaths while thinking happy thoughts that did nothing more than remind her she was anything but.

When she opened the door, she wasn’t sure what to expect. Jon lay on the floor, curled under his favourite blanket, holding onto the cause of all this misery. Mister-Man, the stuffed monkey, glared at her with its one good glass eye. A gift from her late husband, and the only thing Jon would speak to.

The doctors suggested replacing it might encourage Jon to branch out. All it encouraged was another epic tantrum. Would it be too much for one direct word? Instead, every conversation had to go through Mister-Man … just like when his father was alive.

“Enough.”

Just one word, but she was suddenly energized. Debbie rushed forward and snatched Mister-Man. She hurried to the living room; afraid she’d lose her nerve. At the fireplace she paused, staring at the toy one last time. God, I hate you. A smile crossed her face as she remembered saying those exact words to Jon’s father at the end. She tossed Mister-Man into the flames, imagining its tiny screams.

Stopping in the kitchen to pour a glass of wine, Debbie decided to take a nice hot bath. She danced through the house, skipping and twirling to an imagined beat. She turned on the faucets, splashed in some bubble bath, and slipped out of her clothes. Frowning, Debbie swore a scraping noise echoed down the hall. Leaning closer, she strained to hear over the water splashing.

A sudden bang against the door startled Debbie causing her to stumble back, wine sloshing over her hand. Furious, Debbie jerked the door open.

“Enough,” she shouted, ready to reprimand Jon for his newest outburst.

Her eyes widened as she gasped. Mister-Man stood in the hall, hugging a butcher knife to stay upright. Its faux fur was singed, exposing angry pink skin underneath. A grotesque smile split the monkey’s face, exposing two rows of human teeth.

“I won’t be as easy to remove this time,” Mister-Man said, a perfect mimic of her late husband’s voice.

Debbie blinked back at the doll. This can’t be. The monkey used the knife to drag itself closer. Debbie shrieked as she stumbled back, slipping in the spilled wine. Her neck struck the tub and after an initial burst of pain, Debbie went numb.

She blinked at the stuffed monkey as it inched closer, a wide smile on its face.

“Don’t worry … my dear. You won’t feel a thing.”

-The End-

Boo-graphy: Eric Butler is an indie horror writer who lives deep in the heart of Texas. When he’s not writing novels and stories for anthologies, he’s doing the bidding of two adorable huskies. He’s been married for over 20 years and has a teenager in the house, so he won’t be running out of horror material for quite some time.

CHARACTER INTERVIEW: Damien (Man, Fuck This House by Brian Asman)

megHan

Sabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream house, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s bored and disillusioned homemaker, Hal, is a reverse mortgage salesman with a penchant for ill-timed sports analogies. Their two children, Damien and Michaela, are bright and precocious.

At first glance, the house is perfect. But things aren’t what they seem.

Sabrina’s hearing odd noises, seeing strange visions. Their neighbors are odd or absent. And Sabrina’s already-fraught relationship with her son is about to be tested in a way no parent could ever imagine. Because while the Haskins family might be the newest owner of 4596 James Circle, they’re far from its only residents…

Meghan: Hey, Damien. Thank you for joining us here today. What is one word you would use to define yourself?

Damien: Genius.

Meghan: Do you see yourself as the “good guy” or the “bad guy”?

Damien: Good and evil are crutches midwits lean on to understand the world around them, this question is irrelevant.

Meghan: What does the plot require you to be? How does this requirement limit you?

Damien: The plot requires me to be smarter than everyone else in my idiotic family. That’s not a limitation, it’s just reality. Although some people have told me I’m a sort of meta commentary on the way children are portrayed in horror, like how Danny in The Shining is supposedly five years old but thinks like a forty-year-old man.

Meghan: What is your quest?,

Damien: To make my mother suffer for giving birth to me, duh.

Meghan: What do you hope to accomplish, find, or become during the course of your book?

Damien: Well, I really want to break Sabrina’s brain. Like totally destroy her mind. She’s always been weird and cold to me, and I didn’t ask to be born, now did I? So anything I do is completely justified.

Oh, and I totally want to win a Fortnite World Cup.

Meghan: What do you like about the other main characters? What do you least like about the other main characters?

Damien: My sister Michaela’s all right, I suppose. My dad Hal is essentially what would happen if the color beige became sentient. And I think I’ve already made my feelings clear vis a vis my mother, Sabrina.

Meghan: When was the last time you lied What made you do it?

Damien: In a way, you could say my entire existence is a lie. The face I present to the world is much different than who I actually am. But it’s a necessity—I can’t have my mother finding out she gave birth to a normal child and not a literal hellspawn!

Meghan: Who have you betrayed lately? What happened?

Damien: I’d much rather talk about my sister, Michaela, betraying me!

Meghan: Would you say that you are an optimist or a pessimist?

Damien: I’d say I’m someone who abhors a reductive worldview. Next question!

Meghan: What is your superpower?

Damien: I’m incredibly smart. Definitely much smarter than the rest of my family, or anyone else I’ve ever met.

Meghan: What is your biggest secret?

Damien: Tie between my love of Fortnite and my Spongebob pajamas.

Meghan: Do you live in the right world? How necessary are you to your world?

Damien: No, I don’t live in the right world. That’s why I’m so determined to remake it in my own image! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD! Er, I mean “Damien.”

Meghan: What is your role in this setting? Are you okay with this role or would you like it to change?

Damien: Ahem. See previous question.

Meghan: Did you turn out the way you expected?

Damien: At ten years old, I’m still turning out. But yes, I fully expect to be a revered genius and be showered with awards and praise for my incredible accomplishments.

Meghan: What, if anything, would you change about your life?

Damien: Not to be born into a family of imbeciles! Why could’ve I have been Elon Musk’s child? I’d rather be 3×56~8+ or something than “Damien Haskins.”

Meghan: How do you feel about your author?

Damien: Complete hack.

Meghan: If the two of you got together for coffee, what would you want to say to them?

Damien: I’m a child, I don’t drink coffee. I’d probably read him the riot act about the climax of the book, though. I would never say some of the things he put in my mouth!

Boo-graphy: Brian Asman is a writer, actor, director, and producer from San Diego, CA. He’s the author of the hit indie novella Man, Fuck This House (recently optioned by a major streaming service). His other books include I’m Not Supposed to Be Here Today from Eraserhead Press and Neo Arcana, Nunchuck City, and Jailbroke from Mutated Media, as well as the recently released Return of the Living Elves. He’s recently published short stories in Pulp Modern, Kelp, Welcome to the Splatter Club, and Lost Films, and comics in Tales of Horrorgasm.

A film he co-wrote and produced, A Haunting in Ravenwood, is available now on DVD and VOD. His short Reel Trouble won Best Short Film at Gen Con 2022 and Best Horror Short at the Indie Gathering, and is currently schedule to screen at several other festivals.

Brian holds an MFA from UCR-Palm Desert. He’s represented by Dunham Literary, Inc. Max Booth III is his hype man.

Find him on social media (@thebrianasman) or his website.

Man, Fuck This House —
Sabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream home, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s a bored and disillusioned home-maker, Hal a reverse mortgage salesman with a penchant for ill-timed sports analogies. Their two children, Damien and Michaela, are bright and precocious.

At first glance, the house is perfect. But things aren’t what they seem.

Sabrina’s hearing odd noises, seeing strange visions. Their neighbors are odd or absent. And Sabrina’s already-fraught relationship with her son is about to be tested in a way no parent could ever imagine.

Because while the Haskins family might be the newest owners of 4596 James Circle, they’re far from its only residents…

Return of the Living Elves —
When Christmas supply warehouse manager Jimmy tries to help new employee Tommy find a last-minute gift for his girlfriend, they accidentally unleash a long-forgotten and very seasonal genetic experiment with a taste for human flesh. As elf-zombie hybrids take over the small town of Pine Canyon, California, Jimmy fights to survive alongside a Christpunk named Landfill, and a mysterious, PTSD-stricken soldier. Hold onto your stockings because the goddamn elves are back, baby!

AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Brian Asman

megHan

Meghan: Hey Brian. Thanks for agreeing to join us here on Meghan’s Haunted House of Books, New Year’s Day Edition. What is your favorite part of Halloween?

Brian: All of it? If I had to pick one, it’s seeing “normal” people get into spooky stuff for a night. It’s cool watching everyone briefly care about the things I care most about!

Meghan: Do you get scared easily?

Brian: Yes. I got so freaked out answering these interview questions I had to turn a light on. I suspect most horror writers scare pretty easily.

Meghan: What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen and why?

Brian: As a kid, Killer Klowns From Outer Space, which is also the first horror movie I ever saw. As an adult, probably Aterrados, it’s so incredibly frightening.

Meghan: Which horror movie murder did you find the most disturbing?

Brian: Weirdly, the most disturbing murders I’ve seen have not been in horror films (Tig’s daughter in Sons of Anarchy or Andrea in Breaking Bad, anyone?) If we’re going strictly horror, I’ll say something like The Strangers.

Meghan: Is there a horror movie you refused to watch because the commercials scared you too much?

Brian: I put off watching The Ring because of the commercials. Don’t think I ever caught up with that one, actually. Shoot.

Meghan: If you got trapped in one scary movie, which would you choose?

Brian: Killer Klowns. I know their weakness—those big honkin’ red noses. I’m coming for YOU, clowns!

Meghan: If you were stuck as the protagonist in any horror movie, which would you choose?

Brian: Ash in Army of Darkness. Chainsaw/boomstick action in medieval times would be one hell of a party.

Meghan: What is your all-time favorite scary monster or creature of the night?


Brian: So many! I’ll keep it simple and go with the Monster from Frankenstein, though, hard to top!

Meghan: What is your favorite Halloween tradition?

Brian: I’ve got a bunch of seasonal rewatches I do every year—Trick ‘R Treat, Tales of Halloween, Hell House LLC, Garfield’s Halloween Adventure, WNUF Halloween Special, Season of the Witch, and Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers. Between those and the new movies, it’s a busy month!

Meghan: What is your favorite horror or Halloween-themed song?

Brian: So many good ones! I’ll go with “October Sky” by Murderland though.

Meghan: Which horror novel unsettled you the most?

Brian: Probably The Haunted by Bentley Little.

Meghan: What is the creepiest thing that’s ever happened while you were alone?

Brian: Heard footsteps in my college dorm room. My roommate was in bed asleep.

Meghan: Which unsolved mystery fascinates you the most?

Brian: The Black Dahlia, been obsessed with that since I was a kid.

Meghan: What is the spookiest ghost story that you have ever heard?

Brian: The girl with the green ribbon always unsettled me. That or any variation on the ghost hitchhiker.

Meghan: In a zombie apocalypse, what is your weapon of choice?

Brian: Gonna keep it simple and go shotgun. It’d be fun to come up with something ridiculous, but two barrels of buckshot seems like the most practical way to survive.

Meghan: Okay, Brian. Let’s have some fun… Would you rather get bitten by a vampire or a werewolf? Werewolf, I love the sun too much

Meghan: Would you rather fight a zombie apocalypse or an alien invasion? Zombies, at least you’ve got a chance of outsmarting them. Any alien invasion would end rather quickly at this stage in our technological advancement.

Meghan: Would you rather drink zombie juice or eat dead bodies from the graveyard? I’ll go with the non-reanimated dead body, if I must.

Meghan: Would you rather stay at the Poltergeist house or the Amityville house for a week? Poltergeist house.

Meghan: Would you rather chew on a bitter melon with chilies or maggot-infested cheese? Bitter melon, for sure.

Meghan: Would you rather drink from a witch’s cauldron or lick cotton candy made of spider webs? Witch’s cauldron, cool shit might happen!

Boo-graphy: Brian Asman is a writer, actor, director, and producer from San Diego, CA. He’s the author of the hit indie novella Man, Fuck This House (recently optioned by a major streaming service). His other books include I’m Not Supposed to Be Here Today from Eraserhead Press and Neo Arcana, Nunchuck City, and Jailbroke from Mutated Media, as well as the recently released Return of the Living Elves. He’s recently published short stories in Pulp Modern, Kelp, Welcome to the Splatter Club, and Lost Films, and comics in Tales of Horrorgasm.

A film he co-wrote and produced, A Haunting in Ravenwood, is available now on DVD and VOD. His short Reel Trouble won Best Short Film at Gen Con 2022 and Best Horror Short at the Indie Gathering, and is currently schedule to screen at several other festivals.

Brian holds an MFA from UCR-Palm Desert. He’s represented by Dunham Literary, Inc. Max Booth III is his hype man.

Find him on social media (@thebrianasman) or his website.

Man, Fuck This House —
Sabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream home, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s a bored and disillusioned home-maker, Hal a reverse mortgage salesman with a penchant for ill-timed sports analogies. Their two children, Damien and Michaela, are bright and precocious.

At first glance, the house is perfect. But things aren’t what they seem.

Sabrina’s hearing odd noises, seeing strange visions. Their neighbors are odd or absent. And Sabrina’s already-fraught relationship with her son is about to be tested in a way no parent could ever imagine.

Because while the Haskins family might be the newest owners of 4596 James Circle, they’re far from its only residents…

Return of the Living Elves —
When Christmas supply warehouse manager Jimmy tries to help new employee Tommy find a last-minute gift for his girlfriend, they accidentally unleash a long-forgotten and very seasonal genetic experiment with a taste for human flesh. As elf-zombie hybrids take over the small town of Pine Canyon, California, Jimmy fights to survive alongside a Christpunk named Landfill, and a mysterious, PTSD-stricken soldier. Hold onto your stockings because the goddamn elves are back, baby!