Halloween Extravaganza: Steve Thompson: STORY: Wee Man and the Eejit

Wee Man & the Eejit
as Told by Sean “Burly” O’Shea

“There he stood, all of three-foot and six inches, clad in his finest green outfit, now covered in rancid muck. The big eejit that pushed him in the ditch had a bit much of the black stuff. He was acting the maggot he was. Trying to impress his floozie, hoping to score some fun time between her legs. The wee man, well, he wasn’t taking no shite from no codger. A real chancer that fella was getting a Mountain Leprechaun all hepped up. Everyone round these parts knows you don’t feck with a Mountain Leprechaun, a valley one maybe, worse they can do is change you into a potato until sunrise. You just pray to all hell nobody cooks you for their supper.

I saw that happen to a young lad once you know, and at sunrise when he changed back, his legs, well, they was chewed off just above the knees they was. Some yoke thought it would be a great riot to take a bite out of him when he was a potato just to see what would happen. Heads or tails he said twirling the potato in his hands before he took a good old chomp out of the damn thing. It was a riot all right; the poor lad screaming with blood gushing everywhere and everyone running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads lopped off. He lived though, that’s him right over thar in front of Flanagan’s bar in the wheelchair.

Now where was I, oh yeah, some folks leaned a lesson tonight, just cause it’s Halloween don’t mean that everyone you see on the street is wearing a costume. That lad found out the hard way cause he’s not from ‘round here, and he sure as all hell didn’t know we have real Leprechauns that come into town during celebrations. I mean Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I can still smell the ass juice that shot down the eejit’s leg when the wee man transformed into a troll and bit his fecking head off.”

Steve Thompson is the author of two short and flash fiction collections. You can check out his 2 latest short stories “Kill Point Club” in the anthology When the Clock Strikes 13 from his In Your Face Publishing that he started in June 2019 and “Malignant” which he co-wrote with Kenneth W. Cain which is in the Shallow Waters 2 flash fiction anthology by Crystal Lake Publishing.

When the Clock Strikes 13

Tick – tock 
Tick – tock 
Tick – tock

Your time is running out. When the clock strikes 13, all manners of hell will break loose.

When the Clock Strikes 13 is a collection of thirteen short horror stories by some of the best horror and dark fiction authors writing today. Inside, you will find stories to frighten, shock and gnaw at your inner fears, and take you places that belong only in the dark recesses of your mind. There are monsters on these pages; some are human, some are not. 

Table of Contents 
Introduction by Joe Mynhardt 
“The Boy in the Pond” by Mark Allan Gunnells 
“Open Waters” by Richard Thomas 
“Memories” by John R. Little 
“Detrition of War” by Kenneth W. Cain 
“Comes the Red Man” by Tom Deady 
“Mommy’s Girl” by Somer Canon 
“Taking Up Carpentry” by Justin M. Woodward 
“Kill Point Club” by Steve Thompson 
“Calm Down Time” by Richard Chizmar 
“Carrion: My Wayward Son” by James Newman 
“Bear” by Michelle Garza and Melissa Lason 
“When Arachnids Attack” by Sheri White 
“A Song Above” by Glenn Rolfe 
Afterword by Steve Thompson