GUEST MOVIE REVIEW by Jamie Lee: Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter

Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974)

Director: Brian Clemens

Starring:
Horst Janson
John Carson
Shane Briant

A master swordsman and former soldier and his hunchbacked assistant hunt vampires.


Watching Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter around Halloween is a tradition I’ve maintained, since I first saw the film on TNT’s Monster Vision.

It was one of the last movies produced by Hammer Studios and from what I understand, it was supposed to be the first of a series, but the studio unfortunately closed, not long after.

However, what we are left with is a remarkable fusion of vampire story and swashbuckling action.

The film left such an indelible mark that I went into fencing, during college; for me Captain Kronos was THE fencing movie. Beyond the overall spirited aspect, the movie is far more than a “simple” vampire film.

The story begins with Captain Kronos answering the call of his old military brother, Dr. Marcus. Kronos and his companion, Professor Hieronymus Grost, answer Dr. Marcus’s call for aid and begin their investigation into the nature of the attacks and possibility of a vampire. One unique aspect of the vampire they’re hunting is that its feeding drains its victims of their youth and vitality. In addition to trying to figure out who the vampire actually is, Kronos and Grost must try and discern the nature of the vampire, as the pair must first determine the weakness of the vampire in question. In fact, at one pivotal moment of the film, they must experiment with various methods of dispatchment, after a newly born vampire is captured and restrained by the duo. (I’ll avoid spoilers.)

The movie is fun, while maintaining the feel of a Gothic horror investigation. I recommend that anyone give it a watch at least once. In checking a few notes, such as the release date for the film, I discovered that Dan Abnett released a limited comic book series that I will be tracking down, as there is never enough Captain Kronos.

Grab your favorite snack or the Halloween candy you and I both know you will not be giving to trick-or-treaters, and prepare to enjoy, “The only man feared by the walking dead!”

As for me, I too, will be heading towards, “Anywhere, everywhere, wherever there is evil to be fought.”


Boo-graphy:
Jamie Lee has been writing fiction for 30 years. His debut release, Harmony, has been 25 years in the making. While he holds a degree in Microbiology and welcomes comparisons to a mad scientist, writing has always been his first love and interest.

After a successful private release in 2019 of short stories, Harmony was finally ready to debut in March of 2020.

However, life had other plans.

The COVID-19 pandemic caused the release, rollout, and convention travel in support of Harmony to come to a screeching halt.

With an unexpected year-long hiatus, Jamie chose to work on final edits and begin to focus on the second book in the Harmony series, Cacophony.

When not writing, Jamie is a fervent, life-long gamer. He can be found every Friday night with long time friends playing any number of online RPGs and, during the week and weekend, building and painting his countless Warhammer armies, playing any chance he gets. He also enjoys health and fitness, reading, music, traveling, searching or the best bar-b-que and being fueled by endless coffee and kombucha. He is forever searching for the perfect haunted home to live in since his condo is simply not large enough for a proper library or laboratory.

GUEST POST: Jamie Lee

If there’s one thing that’s resonated with me and my writing, it’s the idea that the Celts thought that the veil between worlds became thin during Halloween (or Samhain, as they called it).

During the Halloween season, I immerse myself in films that resonate with the idea of the spirit world having a stronger influence in the day-to-day. 

With that thought in mind, I’ve created a list of my top five films for October and most certainly, Halloween!

When the spirit worlds growing stronger, the following movies either use auspicious times or the ritual actions of their primary actors to initiate events.

1) Dust Devil (1992) —
A killer working his way across South Africa, who may be a spirit, clothed in flesh using the ritual of murder to regain his former place of power. The titular Dust Devil, or nomad, is played by Robert Burke, who also played the lead in Stephen King’s Thinner, and is a character displayed in time – so much so that the character appears in the director, Richard Stanley’s, previous film, Hardware, which is set in the distant future where the nomad character is played by Carl McCoy of the band Fields of the Nephilim.

The nomad character is an interesting concept of a spirit trying to return home through the violence and sacrifice of its ritual actions. And while the setting may not scream Halloween, the cinematography is haunting yet, at the same time, beautiful.

2) Trick ‘r Treat (2007) —
A shared anthology tale, linked by the character of Sam. The stories weave into one another to tell a cohesive whole, but are excellent on their own with everything from werewolves, revenants, and the perils of not checking your Halloween candy. I recommend watching it at least twice and paying closer attention to Anna Paquin’s and her sisters’ comments the second time through. What ties it into the theme is the thought, would any of the film’s events (stories) have happened if something or a series of events hadn’t served as the catalyst for them, in the first place? Still, a great film with supernatural elements occurring on literal Halloween.

Halloween (1978) —
Michael Myers as one of the original, invincible, serial killers. They’ve played with the idea, for good or ill, in subsequent sequels with Michael being the way he is due to ritual actions on the part of some shadowy group. Some of the trailers for the new Halloween film suggest that Michael is ascending through murder, which has parallels to Dust Devil above. Regardless of your interpretation, the movie is set on Halloween with the predations of an invincible killing machine. The creepy theme song deserves an honorable mention and should be played, loudly, as part of any proper Halloween soundtrack.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) —
A movie dripping with gorgeous visuals. While I’ve always been a big fan of Hammer Films and Christopher Lee in the role of Dracula, this movie adheres fairly closely to the source material, with Gary Oldman doing a fantastic job in the title role. The original novel, by Bram Stoker, is also a recommended read for a lone, Hallows night. 

Nightbreed (1990) —
Clive Barker’s “Nightbreed” has little to do with Halloween, other than monsters. Okay, a lot of monsters, all of whom are trying to live their life in the city of Midian that they’ve built beneath an old cemetery. It also turns out the actual “monsters” in the movie may be the human prejudices haunting the denizens of Midian. Into this is thrust Boone, who is convinced by his psychiatrist, Doctor Decker, that he is serial killer who then goes to Midian to live amongst the other monsters…only to become both savior and destroyer. A tale as old as time, everyone! I strongly recommend watching the Director’s Cut, which was lost for decades, found, and reassembled by Scream Factory. It was originally conceived to be the “Star Wars” of monster movies, with subsequent titles which sadly, never materialized. The film resonates with what a monster actually is. I can only refer you to my own writing. 

Regardless, of if you  are interested in digging into my central theme concept, you can’t go wrong making these movies a part of your ? days of Halloween. My ? days tend towards 365, but individual interest may vary. Stay spooky!


Boo-graphy:
Jamie Lee has been writing fiction for 30 years. His debut release, Harmony, has been 25 years in the making. While he holds a degree in Microbiology and welcomes comparisons to a mad scientist, writing has always been his first love and interest.

After a successful private release in 2019 of short stories, Harmony was finally ready to debut in March of 2020.

However, life had other plans.

The COVID-19 pandemic caused the release, rollout, and convention travel in support of Harmony to come to a screeching halt.

With an unexpected year-long hiatus, Jamie chose to work on final edits and begin to focus on the second book in the Harmony series, Cacophony.

When not writing, Jamie is a fervent, life-long gamer. He can be found every Friday night with long time friends playing any number of online RPGs and, during the week and weekend, building and painting his countless Warhammer armies, playing any chance he gets. He also enjoys health and fitness, reading, music, traveling, searching or the best bar-b-que and being fueled by endless coffee and kombucha. He is forever searching for the perfect haunted home to live in since his condo is simply not large enough for a proper library or laboratory.

SHORT STORY: A Horror Trio by Jon M. Jefferson

The Job

As he washed his blood from her shirt, he continued to mutter “never answering the want ads again.” It wasn’t that it was the worst job he ever had. But it was far from the greatest.

It started out innocent, until she brought out her “toys.” Those were her words. She had a penchant for pain and lots of money to pay him for taking it. He might not have felt so bad about it if it was just a kinky sex thing, but this was borderline crazy.

The last time, she tied him up, naked as the day he was born. She peeled back the layers of skin on his left foot. The pain was excruciating, but he refused to cry. For the money she was paying him, he would damn well take it.

After the left foot she moved to the right foot. It was still healing from the last time. So for this one she started with salt. The shards of pain shot up his leg, stabbing deep into his brain. As if that wasn’t enough, she turned to lemon juice. He blacked out as soon as the first drop touched his big toe.


The off days she would allow him to do the laundry and other light cleaning. She took extra delight as he hobbled around the house on his bandaged feet.

At times, he would remember the job market outside of her home. At least he was getting paid for this. Though, he often wondered how long before she tired of him. She hadn’t mentioned what happened to her last assistant. The possibilities seemed a bit less humane than keeping the status quo.


He had been thinking back to the day she hired him. It was late September. Indian summer was beginning to fade, the air turning a bit cooler. She had worn a black satin dress with conservative pumps, gloves and a wide brimmed hat. She never took her sunglasses off.

At the time he found it a bit disconcerting. Even now he still had not seen her eyes. A little shifty, sure, but she never missed a payment. She even gave him a great Christmas bonus. Though he did lose his pinky on Christmas Day. Slip of some equipment. It was an accident really.


She had been acting funny over the past week. Before the sessions they would walk the grounds, stopping near the pond in the center of the garden maze. This happened everyday around noon.

They didn’t talk. She wasn’t paying him for conversation. He would roll a joint, a special blend she had flown in. Everyday for the past week they would sit on a bench beside the pond, smoking the joint and watching the clouds float by.

Every night she would find a new torture. Over the entire week she never peeled skin away. This week it was thumbscrews, and then water torture. He missed the days of the peeling skin.


It was Thursday. Their walks hadn’t changed. He was rolling the joint, ensuring it was the way she liked it. “Frank?” she asked.

He wasn’t sure if he should answer. They spent so much time in silence it felt strange to break the mood. “Yes?” he answered. He felt it should have been something more profound but he didn’t have profound in him at that moment.

She lit the joint and inhaled deeply, then passed it back to him. She had taken her glasses off, looking into his eyes as she held the joint out to him. He took it even as his skin pimpled in gooseflesh.

Her eyes were white. The pupils and irises looked bleached. There was a dead quality to the stare coming from those blank, empty eyes. He took a long drag on the joint, holding it in.

“What keeps you here?” She did not turn away. Another long drag of the joint, she held it in, waiting for his answer.

“It’s all I have.” They finished and went back to the house. She did not approach him again over the next two days. They did not have their time at the pond.

On the morning of the third day he found a briefcase on the bedside table of his room. Inside he found banded stacks of 100 dollar bills, crisp and new. There was also a folded sheet of paper with a hand drawn map on it.

He knew right away that the map led to the pond in the garden. He dressed and ran down the stairs to the back door. The sun was already rising, the heat of the day rising with it.

He didn’t stop. He was in a dead run to the garden maze. He found her sitting on the bench beside the pond. The knife, that special knife, she had cut him so deeply with, lay at her feet. It was covered with the pooling blood that drained from her wrists.

Fragile

The dress, gossamer and white, had been her mother’s. It bothered her a little that she saw her mother when she looked in the mirror. Beautiful and full of life until the end, her reflection brought up too many memories, too much pain of the time before her end. Sarina loved her mother, but she missed her terribly. There was no justice in the world to take her so soon. She wasn’t done with her yet. They still had so much to talk about.

She turned away from the mirror and picked up the dress. With any luck this would be the dress she passed on to her daughter as well, a legacy from the old family. She slid into the dress and fastened the buttons as best she could. The top buttons were out of her reach and required a second set of hands. Lucy could get it when she let her back into the room.

She choose to wear her hair down, like her mother. And there would be no veil. Terrence would see her uncovered and whole when she joined him. This wasn’t a part of the traditions, but it suited her. She wanted the joining to be as much her as it was the traditions of her family.

She picked up the gloves from the bed, the last part of her dress. Long and white, a matched set to the dress, but the material was different, soft doe skin leather. Her grandmother had tanned the hide from her grandfather’s first joined kill. He provided their first feast and the materials to clothe them in the joining. Today, Terrence would hunt the first kill of their joining, another tradition.

Sarina turned and twisted in the mirror, an effort to see how the dress looked from every angle. So much like her mother, it hadn’t been altered and still fit her perfectly.

“You’re beautiful,” Lucy said. She stood in the doorway, the door knob still in her hand.

“You were supposed to wait,” Sarina said. “I wasn’t ready.” She crossed her arms. The leather scratched and chafed her skin so she let them fall to her sides. She motioned for Lucy to come into the room.

Lucy’s face filled with her smile. “Mother lives through you,” she said. The smile fell away when it was confronted by Sarina’s frown. “Sorry, it’s the dress. You look so much like her right now.”

Sarina turned back to the mirror. “Can you button the last few? I can’t reach them.”

Lucy brushed Sarina’s hair over her shoulder then fiddled with the buttons. “I still can’t believe that this dress has survived for so long,” she said. “You honor mother’s memory today.”

“Mother should be here with us,” Sarina said. “I still can’t believe she’s gone.”

Lucy pressed her sister’s shoulders and spun Sarina to face her. “You lead the family now. Mother wasn’t your fault,” Lucy said. “Quit taking credit for the problems of the world.”

“I loved her,” Sarina said. Tears filled her eyes and spilled over to her cheeks.

“Be strong. It is all she has ever asked of you.” Lucy pulled her close and crushed her body in a tight grip. “I will always be here for you.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Sarina said. “You will have your own joining at some point. It is our way.”

“But we will always be sisters.” Lucy stared at their reflections in the mirror, noted but said nothing of the differences in their faces. She had gotten her fathers features, sharp, precise. Sarina looked so much more like their mother with her father’s nose. The differences were pronounced when they stood together, only their raven black hair of their mother displayed their shared heritage.

Sarina smiled at her sister’s reflection. “Go,” she said. “Check on the arrivals. I will be ready and be with you soon.”

Lucy squeezed her sister’s shoulder then moved to the doorway. “Be strong,” she said, then stepped out into the hall. The door closed behind her with a soft click.

Sarina scanned her reflection one last time and took a deep breath. “You never told me that the joining would be so difficult, mother.” She glanced at the picture of her mother she kept beside the bed. “What was it like for you, at your first joining? Were you frightened? Did your mother prepare you?”

She knew the answer to that last question already. Her grandmother passed before her mother’s joining. Another tradition, another part of the life and heritage she wished she wouldn’t have to pass on to her own daughters. But it didn’t matter, the cycle repeats. One day her own child will stand before a similar mirror and question the future laid before her. She might even curse her mother that day, curse her and miss her for not being there on the day of her joining.

Sarina stopped at the hall door. She scanned the room one last time before she opened the door. “I will return,” she said. The room didn’t acknowledge her. The dust settled around her and the room as if she didn’t matter to the life that would go on when she was gone.

Music carried from the first floor, to meet her at the top of the stairs. As if on cue, the orchestra changed songs to announce her entrance into the hall. The collective gaze of the guests on the floor below turned to watch her entrance into their midst. The majority of the guests were inside the main hall. Those at the bottom of the stairs were old family and friends, close ties from her old life.

Lucy met her before the doors to the main hall. “Terrence hasn’t arrived yet,” she said. “I think he wants to make an entrance.”

“What should I do?”

“He will be here,” Lucy said. “He knows the traditions. Go. Enter the hall.”

Sarina bit her lip with a silent snarl, then followed the open path to the main hall doors. The music changed again, an announcement that she was about to enter. A sudden scrape and scuffle assaulted her ears from beyond the doorway as the guests in the hall stood at once. She bolstered her courage with a sigh and stepped into the hall.

As the tradition she walked the aisle to the join the waiting officiate at the front of the hall. She made it to halfway when a ruckus broke over the sound of the orchestra. Voices and shouts disrupted the proceedings. Terrence rushed into the hall from a side door. A small group of men followed in his wake.

He was dressed in a grew striped tuxedo with a velvet grey top hat. The suit was the tradition, the dress his father wore before him and his grandfather before his father. The tradition was completed with the bound girl over his shoulder.

Unlike the pomp and fancy dress that the guests and the bride and groom wore, this girl was close to naked. She wore a black nightie and gold cord bound her ankles and her wrists. If she had been sleeping, it didn’t matter now. She screamed and squirmed on Terrence’s shoulder but he held her fast. He marched at a hurried pace to the front of the hall, to join the officiate.

Once at the front of the hall he dropped the girl in front of him and placed a foot on her chest to keep her pinned down. She fought, squirmed, wiggled, begged, but could not break free. The guests ignored her and Terrence turned his attention to Sarina as she joined him.

Terrence took Sarina’s hand in his and looked into her eyes. “I have brought you sacrifice,” he said. The words of tradition, her moments of fear and dread slipped away as they stepped into the rites of their world.

“I accept your tribute,” she said.

Terrence pulled the girl from the floor and wrapped an arm tight across her upper body. He then gripped her chin and turned her head to the side to expose her neck. “Feast.”

Sarina’s fears and misgivings slipped away as she leaned into the waiting neck. She kissed it at first, soft and slow. When she caught the scent of meat from the offering, she licked her lips and then bit deep into the girls neck.

The Silky Edge of the Night

The black sedan cut its lights then pulled to a stop behind a copse of pine trees. In the cover of darkness he sought stealth over speed. Paid for his discretion and methods he didn’t like to leave an easy trail.

Barry grabbed his tools from the backseat and strapped the belt to his waist and then hooked up the harness. He released the magazine for his .45 for a quick inventory then snapped it back into place. He hated to carry it, only did for emergencies. Way he saw it, if he had to use it he failed to perform at his best.

Professionalism and discretion, hallmarks of the profession that garnered some steep fees for his efforts. Only once, one time, he screwed up, pulled his gun on a job. He finished it of course, but returned most of the fee for the job. Didn’t meet his standards, that’s what he told the client.

A quick jog through the woods to arrive at the outer edge of the trailer park. Barry chuckled at the thought, who hides in a trailer park? It’s where dreams go to die. But then, no one thinks to look for you there either.

In the end, hiding, life style choice, Barry didn’t care. He didn’t spend time questioning the merits of the job. Moral dilemmas got in the way of a clean shot. Worst thing a morality question could do on a job is cause him to hesitate. Hesitation in a kill or be killed world resulted in the latter.

The park was laid out in a figure eight pattern. A main road circled the park with a center road bisecting it. Trailers were on each side of the road, mostly double wides. The park owners invested in fancy street lights to give the place some old world charm. Haunting, soft light emanated from the lamps, like old world gas lamps.

The trailer he needed lay just beyond the edge of the woods. He scouted the location over the past few days to ensure access and then egress from the location. In order to insure as little fuss as possible he planned out every step of a job.

A quick look at his watch, told him he had a few minutes till midnight. Mr. Body habitually went to bed at a quarter to midnight. Barry wanted to give him a few more minutes. With good timing he could break into the trailer without waking his target.

“What ya doin’ runnin around in the dark Mr.?” He jumped into the air, when a girl stepped around the shed behind him.

He leaned against the shed as his heart hammered against his chest. “Don’t… sneak… up… on… people like that,” he said as he caught his breath again. “You could get hurt.”

The girl, young, her hair in pigtails, looked him up and down. “You probably shouldn’t be sneaking around like this,” she said. “Some of the people around here will call the cops at the drop of a hat.”

“I’m not sneaking around,” he said. “I was hoping to surprise a friend of mine. We haven’t seen each other in a few years.”

“You friends with Mr. Smith? My dad don’t like him. Says, my dad says, that he is a crazy hermit.” She lowered her voice. “I think he is hiding from the cops or something. I don’t even think Smith is his name.”

“Maybe you should head on home,” he said. “Isn’t your mom worried about you wandering off like this?”

“Oh my mom don’t care. She’s at work right now anyway.”

“Then who is taking care of you?”

“I take care of myself. Learned that a long time ago,” she said. “Only person you can ever count on is yo’self anyway.”

Cynical, so cynical, she couldn’t be more than ten or so, he thought. He couldn’t remember ever being that young but he wasn’t that bad back then, maybe. The memories hit him, a flash through his brain, unexpected, quick.

His father had come home, drunk again. “Wake up boy,” he said. “I said get up.”

Barry rolled over to find his father standing over him. He held a bottle in one hand and a back pack in the other. “Wha’?” he asked as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

“Get yer shit and get out…”

He blinked, looked around. The trailer park came back into focus. The memories, they weren’t his. Where was the girl, he asked himself. He picked himself up from the ground and moved to cover behind the trailer. A quick scan told him he was alone again. “What the hell just happened,” he said into the night. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and forced himself to focus on his target again.

Voices floated through the night air from inside the trailer. The words unintelligible but he could make out at least two voices inside the trailer. The side door, no light above it, he could slip through unseen and still dispatch the target inside.

But the girl, he would still need to find her. She saw his face, knew he was there to see “Mr. Smith.” A soft breeze blew through the alley between trailers, no other movement suggested life around to worry about. She said her mother wasn’t home. He would take care of her next. Wasn’t his style to kill a child but sometimes the job needed him to step outside his comfort zone.

Barry slipped through the night to the side door and tested the latch. Unlocked, no barrier stood in his way.

“Aren’t you going to knock?” The voice, the girl again, behind him.

He turned to see her at the base of the stairs. “I told you I wanted to surprise him.” He kept his voice low.

“Now you’re just bein’ silly,” she said.

Her voice, in conversational tone boomed in his ears. A wave of nausea hit him, vertigo brought him to his knees. The memory crashed on the shores of his psyche. His girlfriend had left him at the beach.

Gulls called and jeered at him as he watched out into the waves, tears bled down his cheeks. She not only wanted to see other men, she was sleeping with his brother. Her words a knife driven through his heart. The dagger of confession twisted and turned to the sound of crashing waves.

The memory again not his own. He fought to stand, pulled at the hand rail to the steps to lift himself from the ground. Though he fell to the ground he didn’t feel broken or bruised, but the wind sent chills through his body as it dried the sweat.

A metallic, copper taste filled his mouth, his nose was plugged with the smell of it. Barry wiped away the sweat from his chin and neck and found his hand red with more than just his sweat. Trails of blood and sweat dribbled from the corners of his eyes and his ears.

The girl, gone again. He sat on the bottom step to catch his breath. They knew he was here, knew his intentions. The girl did it. Did she hunt him? The hunter now the hunted, when the prey changed the game without warning?

He pulled out his .45. Shoot her when she came back, a simple plan. He lost the element of surprise when she made her first attack. This had nothing to do with money anymore. The girl hurt him, attacked him when he was unprepared. Not this time. Barry chambered a round.

His body swayed with the wind as he stood. Vertigo held him in a loose grip but he fought it off. He looked up and down the alley between trailers but didn’t see the girl, so he walked back to where he first saw her.

“You can’t hide forever,” he said. At the edge of the woods his vertigo stopped. His sour stomach returned to normal. The dim light in the trailer park remained calm, steady. He could see no movement in the darkness surrounding the trailer. “This is crazy,” he said. “I’ll finish the damn job but their paying double for this one. I don’t care how messy it becomes.” He jogged back to the trailer, eyes open for movement.

No sign of the girl’s return, he slunk back to the side door for the trailer. The door still unlocked, no barrier to his entering the trailer. Now or never, he turned the knob and pushed the door open.

A light came down the hall from the front of the trailer but darkness met him from the master bedroom at the back end of the trailer. Barry switched his .45 to his left hand and drew his K-bar with his right hand. The job might be messy but there was still a chance he could do it quiet.

He heard the drone of a television come from the front of the trailer as he turned toward the master bedroom. No turning back, he thought as he moved with the shadows into the back room.

The target lay on the bed, unmoving but for the steady rhythm of his breathing. A quick cut with the K-bar on the sleeping form and he could slip back out again with no one the wiser.

“Took you long enough.” She stepped from the closet further in the room. The smile, her smile, sent chills down his spine.

“Who are you?” he asked. The .45, he could raise it and fire in a blink, but he had to know.

“Just a girl,” she said. “Isn’t that obvious?”

Knuckles white on the grip of his gun, shoot her, shoot her, his internal voice screamed at him. He fought to raise his hand, to pull the trigger. His arm remained unresponsive.

She stepped closer to him, stepped closer without moving. So close, so very close, he could hear the gasping breaths that came from her lungs.

Chills wracked across his body as his flesh dimpled and puckered. “What are you?” he whispered.

She stretched out her arms and placed her hands on his temples. “I am the night,” she said.

Vertigo consumed him as he fell to the ground.


Boo-graphy:
Jon Jefferson writes Speculative fiction with forays into Noir and Bizarro. His stories have appeared in the 2013 Indies Unlimited Flash Fiction Anthology, and on the Weird Tales Magazine web site. His work can also be found on Amazon and Smashwords. Flash fiction stories can be found at his site Misadventures in Strange Places and his anthologies, short stories, and novellas can be found at his Amazon Author page.

A longtime fan of Science Fiction and Fantasy stories in all their forms, he has spent most of his life looking for magic in the everyday moments of life. He hails from the tundra of Southwest Michigan. The monsters in his life include his wife, two daughters and grand babies.

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SHORT STORY: The Tale of the Halloween Candy Goblin by Chris Garrett

I have several young ones that read my blog and email me often to talk books with me. I knew I could count on Chris to write the perfect *scary* story for around the campfire, one those kids would love.

The Tale of the Halloween Candy Goblin

Have you ever felt cheated on the greatest candy holiday of the year? I mean, let’s be honest. We work hard on Halloween. Am I right?! Every year we wear those hot costumes with mask we can barely see out of, and walk for what seems to be miles. In hopes to fill our bags and buckets on All Hallows Eve!! All that work … and for absolutely nothing. But only to wake up the next morning to find all the good candy eaten by your parents!

But! What if I told you that it’s not your parents that eat all your good candy. It’s not even your annoying little brother or sister. But creatures that have been around since the beginning of All Hallows Eve!

For hundreds of years, fruit gobbers have been roaming the earth. They are goblins who thrive and feast off the sweetest foods the world has to offer, shape shifting and changing into people and objects just long enough to eat and run! Families would find all their fruit eaten over night and point blame on their children.

But over time the world has become more complex and fruit was getting to be a harder food resource to find without exposing their existence. Until……..they discovered candy. Humans that would catch glances of these creatures began calling them “Candy Goblins “. Candy was made by the masses and is in almost every household. Even with candy being so accessible, the candy goblins still we’re putting there selves at risk on a regular basis more then they should.

They had to create a plan to collect the most candy in the shortest amount time to last them for a while. That’s when they discovered the one day out of the year that Children would go door to door dressed in costume and in exchange would receive candy by the bag fulls. Halloween, was the perfect day for their plan.

Now you’re probably thinking “What does candy goblins look like on Halloween night and how do they get away with taking so much candy!?” Ok! I got you! So here is what I’ve heard.

A little bit after the first hour of Trick Or Treating, they like to come out of hiding and blend with the crowd. Candy goblins are small, conservative creatures and usually don’t speak English. They can’t go door to door. So if you see a kid wearing a generic worn out monster costume with an empty candy bag, tread carefully. They will follow the kids with the most collected candy all the way to their house.

As the children make the way inside their home, the Candy Goblins drop their costumes and slip into the house before they shut the door quickly and shape shift into an item to hide out in.

After the parents have checked the candy and everyone is asleep. The Candy Goblins Dive into the candy buckets and sacs with an all night celebration. They have exquisite taste and collect all the good candy only leaving leftovers. Lots of off brand sugar that no kid wants. And when it’s time, they make their escape as soon as mom and dad leave for work.

So how do we stop Candy Goblins from taking your candy? You take this biggest handful, and share it with everyone you love. Once your parents check the candy, make small piles out of the “good stuff”. And divide it among your friends and family. That way the goblins have no reason to go through your bucket.

So remember… Have fun.. collect lots of candy… and keep it away from goblins!! Happy Halloween!!!!!!


Boo-graphy:
Chris Garrett is an award winning writer, artist, comic book creator and professional Barista from the State of Georgia. He loves telling stories of horror and suspense. His short stories and comic books have been sold in other countries including Japan and The UK. You can follow his misadventures on his official Facebook page.

SHORT STORY: The Interview by Phil Sloman

This is absolutely amazing and I am SO excited about getting to share this with you today. When Phil said he wanted to do the interview this year, but wanted to do it different, I never, in my wildest dreams, could have expected this. After reading it, I had to go out and share it with my mother (my best friend), who I think enjoyed it a little more than I did.

The Interview

He pulled up outside the house and put the car into park. His face was bathed with a dull glow as he turned on his phone. He flicked through a couple of screens, eventually finding the address he was after. The last thing he wanted to do was knock on the door of a random stranger and then stumble through why he was in the neighbourhood so late at night.

It had been a long drive, far longer than he had intended with traffic jams and a blown tire to contend with, but he was here now and that was all that mattered. He’d phoned ahead just to make sure, almost hoping that the answer would be “Don’t worry, grab a motel room and we can do it in the morning,” but she had seemed so enthusiastic, and he wasn’t one to disappoint. It was that eagerness to please which had brought him here in the first place. Normally these things would have been done online or by phone but he’d casually dropped in that he had family not too far away and the suggestion they do this face to face had been slipped in ever so subtly and in a way in which he couldn’t really say no.

Thirty minutes, he told himself, or maybe an hour tops and then he could be on the road to go find somewhere to get his head down for the night. He flipped his phone off and tossed it into the glove box without even thinking and made his way towards the front door.

A lot of effort had gone into decorating the house, the usual Halloween paraphernalia put out ahead of the weekend’s celebrations. Tomorrow the streets would be crawling with goblins and ghouls, witches and warlocks, all carrying plastic pumpkins filled to the brim with candy and treats. It was his favourite part of Halloween watching the children all heading out and having so much fun. Tonight, though, was more subdued. The calm before the storm. Fake cobwebs hung from Styrofoam gravestones, with skeletal hands emerging from the ground among a whole crop of carved pumpkins each filled with flickering lights. He smiled as he noticed the Satan Stop Here sign and imagined just what might happen if that particular red suited man were to turn up. At least he would have no problem working out who was naughty or nice.

He pressed the doorbell and waited. A black and white sign reading “Home Sweet Haunted Home” hung to the side of the door. He was almost too distracted by it to notice as the door swung open.

“Phil!” There was an excitement to the greeting.

“Um, hi, yeah,” he said, bumbling his words. “So sorry that I’m late, Meghan, you know, what with the traffic and the flat and everything. I mean, is it still okay? What time is it anyway? Almost midnight?”

Meghan looked up at him and smiled. One of those reassuring ones which makes you feel as if the world will all be just hunky-dory if you simply went with it.

“Of course it’s fine. You’ve come all this way and I wouldn’t want you to have a wasted journey now, would I. So why don’t you come right on in. We can settle down over a nice iced tea and get down to business. Doesn’t that sound great?”

“Yes, I guess it does.” Except he knew he’d only end up sipping at the drink out of politeness, counting the seconds until he could get his head down for some shut eye.

“Wonderful. Now do follow me. Please.”

He did as he was instructed, walking closely behind his hostess towards the inner sanctum of Chateau Hyden.

“You’ve got a lovely place here,” he said turning left and then right as they weaved through a maze of rooms. He was about to take another left when something skittered across his feet.

“Oh, jeez, what the hell was that?”

Meghan turned to face him. “That was Mia.”

“Mia?”

“My cat. You might get to meet her later. She’s adorable but she does bring me in all kinds of strays. You do like cats, don’t you? I know some folks can get a bit superstitious around them.”

“Cats? Me. Nah, love them. We’ve got a couple of them back home. Only thing I’m really superstitious about is magpies. You know, where you have to salute them if you see one on their own. Otherwise bad shit will happen.”

He laughed, a little less convincingly than he would have liked.

“Oh, bad stuff can happen anyway, magpies or not,” said Meghan, that thousand-watt smile beaming brightly yet seeming ever so less reassuring now.

“Um, yeah, I guess you’re right.” He rubbed the back of his neck, not quite sure where to look.

Meghan simply continued smiling, the pair of them standing in silence, the sound of a carriage clock ticking away in the distance. For a second he thought he could hear something else too. Something muffled. Almost as if someone were shouting from the bottom of a well or a pond. Possible coming from his left. He turned, still listening, seeing a door with a lock, a large black key poking from the keyhole…the sound was definitely coming from the room beyond…he strained to hear…his hand resting on the doorhandle…

“Through here,” said Meghan.

“I’m sorry?”

“We’re through here,” she repeated, taking his arm and guiding him to follow her. Even so, he couldn’t resist one last look back at the door.

The room she led him into was spacious with bookshelves running from floor to ceiling. In the middle of the room was a coffee table with two wicker chairs either side. A tray with a large crystal jug and two tall slim jims, each filled with iced tea, had been placed on the table. Large potted plants added a touch of the exotic to the room.

“Please, do sit.” Meghan pointed to the furthest chair. “Then we can begin.”

He ambled to the chair, pausing to look at the bookshelves. There were so many books; it was wonderful. And here, right here, was the horror section in all its glory. There were the Campbells, Kings, Barkers, Jacksons, and Poes. Oh Poe. He hadn’t realised it was horror when he’d first read those abridged versions in his 1,000 Page Story Book for Children all those years back. How old must he have been? Eight? Nine? He couldn’t really remember. What he did recall was the fascination and atmosphere that those tales by Poe evoked in him. It would be almost a full decade before he properly delved into horror thereafter through Skeleton Crew and the Books of Blood. And here were some of the newer authors. Mauro. Sharma. Linwood Grant. Everington. West. Gardner. Jones. He paused as he recognised some particular books among the works.

“Nice to see a few of my pieces have made it to your shelves.”

“Of course.” That smile again. “We’ve always got a special place for Phil Sloman here. Shall we?”

The chair creaked as he sat down. He made a note to himself to cut down on the late-night cheese binges. Meghan sat opposite and pushed the tray towards him.

“Please, help yourself.”

“Thanks.” He grabbed a glass and took a sip. The taste wasn’t unpleasant but there was a hint of something he couldn’t quite place. “It’s good,” he said, manners kicking in.

“Thank you. My mother made it.”

“Well, do pass on my thanks to her.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be able to do that yourself. In time.”

Time. He glanced at his watch. It was still the right side of midnight but only just. How long before he could be out of here? Before he could be on the road again.

“So, what did you want to know?” he said, eager to proceed.

“Know?”

“The interview. That’s why I’m here, right?”

“Oh, yes, sure. The interview.”

“And?” He was being snippy. He didn’t mean to be; the long drive, the late hour, but he just wished they could start.

“Right,” said Meghan, rising above his ire. “Let me see. Which unsolved murder fascinates you the most?”

“Wow, right in with the big questions. No punches held.”

“I like to be direct.”

“That’s good. I like that. Um, so to your question. I don’t really keep track of unsolved murders. You might think that a bit bizarre given some of my work. Becoming David and The Man Who Fed the Foxes being good examples without giving too much away.” He winked at her then regretted it immediately. He could be such an idiot at times. “But,” he said, recovering himself, “there’s that important divide for me between real life and fiction. You know what I mean?”

“Sure.”

“I mean there’s every likelihood that there’s a dead body somewhere in this street and we wouldn’t know about it.”

Meghan laughed.

“Well, that would certainly be exciting, wouldn’t it!”

“I guess it would.” He took another sip of his drink. “Are you going to take any notes?”

“No, it’s fine. I have a great memory. You just keep on talking.”

“Sure. Well, I guess that was it really.” God, why hadn’t he done this by email. At least then he could have taken the time with his answers. “What’s next?”

Meghan leaned forward in her chair, her eyes widening almost with glee as she popped her next question. “Tell me, who’s your favourite serial killer and why?”

“Favourite serial killer? Hmmm, well I guess that’s a bit like the unsolved murders. A bit too real for me. I mean, Dahmer was someone who intrigued me at the time, as I guess he did for most of us, but there’s that worry for me of celebrity status for something so heinous. It’s almost as if we remember the killer and not the victims. It’s weird because I’m happy to write about that stuff as fiction but the real life stuff…” He pulled a face.

“I know what you mean.”

“And it’s always the people you least expect. Those people who come across as so nice, the next-door neighbour who everyone always had time for, who would go out of their way to get the drinks in.”

“Well, everyone likes a nice drink. How’s the iced tea?”

“It’s good.” He took another sip, then placed the glass on the tray. “Are you having any?”

“In a bit. Now, are you ready for the next question.”

He nodded, tugging at his collar as he did so.

“So, which urban legend scares you?”

“Urban legend. Let me think.” His fingers worked at the top button of his shirt. Air, he needed some air. “Urban legend…urban legend.”

“Are you okay?” There was concern in her voice.

“Yes, it’s just getting a little warm in here.”

“Is it? I hadn’t noticed. So, you were saying?”

“Right, legends. Urban legends. Umm, I guess probably that fear Poe had. You know the one where you’re buried alive. So not really an urban legend. Apparently it happened lots back then. You know folks trapped in their coffins, still breathing, somehow, with no one to hear them. Muffled voices shouting…from…the…grave.”

He could feel the blood drain from his face even as he said the words. Dots joining up slowly in a brain which was barely ticking over.

“Could you open a window?”

“In a bit. More iced tea, perhaps?”

“Sure.”

He went to reach for his glass. Something so simple. All he needed to do was stretch out his arm and pick up the glass. Except he couldn’t. His arm hung limply by his side.

“Is everything okay?”

“Ye..” He tried to form the word. Just three letters. “Ye..” His tongue felt fat in his mouth, his jaw wouldn’t move. “Y…” He watched as Meghan rose from her seat, coming round to check on him, to give him help. Except she wasn’t. He saw the hand rushing open-palmed towards his face. He knew the contact must have happened except where there should have been a sharp pain, residual tingling, there was nothing.

“Mom, come here. He’s ready.”

Slowly his vision faded, the room becoming hazy, the world around him softening. He was aware of someone else entering the room, a woman, muffled voices talking then hands under his arms, being dragged from his chair. His feet skittered across the hardwood floor. Was that Mia playing around his ankles, dashing back and forth under his legs? He couldn’t tell. And then they were somewhere else. The corridor? That hum of voices. A door opening. The voices louder now. Familiar voices. Ones he had heard speak at conventions on panels, and some, the more famous ones, on television and radio.

“Meghan, honey, I think he’s still awake.”

“It doesn’t matter. He shouldn’t feel a thing. Probably.”


He opened his eyes. The first sensation was that he was underwater. The world blurred around him. Except there were some things he could make out. Shelves filled with large jars. The types you had in high school science labs, usually with some dead rat or alien looking creature suspended in formaldehyde.

“Oh, look, he’s finally awake.”

“About time. Now we know why they call him Slow-man!”

“Nice one, Ramsey.”

“My pleasure, Steve.”

“Who, who’s there?” he said, trying to keep the quiver from his voice. Except something was different. Almost as if he was speaking through melted marshmallow.

“Shut up, all of you. I think I can hear her coming.”

“Yes, Clive. Whatever you say, Clive. I mean what is she going to do that she hasn’t done already?”

“Yes, what sights might she have to show us?”

“Ah, fuck you, guys!”

Light flooded the room.

“Okay, what’s going on in here? I told you all before to keep the noise down. The neighbours have been complaining.”

“Yes, Meghan.”

“Sorry, Meghan.”

“Won’t happen again, Meghan.”

“Good. Glad to hear it.” He heard footsteps crossing the room. Then she was there. Her face in front of his. She tapped the glass of the jar, looking at the disembodied head.

“See, I told you we had a special place here for Phil Sloman. Plenty of time for questions. And I do have so many questions. In the meantime, welcome to Meghan’s Haunted House of Books. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

The End


Boo-graphy:
Phil Sloman is a writer of dark psychological fiction. His first story was published in 2014 and he has been writing ever since. In 2017 Phil was shortlisted for British Fantasy Award Best Newcomer for his novella Becoming David, and was part of Imposter Syndrome from Dark Minds Press which was nominated for British Fantasy Award Best Anthology in 2018, and edited the 2020 British Fantasy Award nominated The Woods anthology. Phil regularly appears on several reviewers’ Best of Year lists.

Author website
Amazon UK
Amazon US

Becoming David
Richard leads a simple, uncomplicated life in the suburbs of London where anonymity is a virtue. His life has a routine. His cleaner visits twice a week. He works out in his basement, where he occasionally he kills people. Everything is as Richard wants it until David enters his life. What happens next changes his existence in its entirety and the lives of those around him. Is he able to trust anything to be true? And will he be able to escape David or will David take over Richard’s life completely?