AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Chad Lutzke

Meghan: Hey Chad!! Welcome back to Meghan’s HAUNTED House of Books. Thank you for joining in our Halloween shenanigans once again. What is your favorite part of Halloween?

Chad: Probably that for a short time, my tribe widens, meaning that even those outside the tribe acknowledge horror by way of the décor in every store, front lawns, films released in theaters, and even TV episodes dedicated to spooky, making us monster kids feel a little more at home.

Meghan: Do you get scared easily?

Chad: Not from movies or books, no. From the possibilities of experiencing legitimate trauma that comes with living on this planet? Yes.

Meghan: What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen and why?

Chad: The Exorcist. I’ve seen it several times, and it still makes me feel uneasy.

Meghan: Which horror movie murder did you find the most disturbing?

Chad: When they all stab the kid to death in Bully. That got to me. Another one would be the guy’s wife in the shower at the beginning of Terrified.

Meghan: Is there a horror movie you refused to watch because the commercials scared you too much?

Chad: No, though there are some I won’t watch because I’ve heard a lot about them. One of those being A Serbian Film. I have no interest in watching stuff like that.

Meghan: If you got trapped in one scary movie, which would you choose?

Chad: The Greasy Strangler. Hanging out with those guys would never get boring.

Meghan: If you were stuck as the protagonist in any horror movie, which would you choose?

Chad: Mike from Phantasm. I mean… he’s like 13 years old and works on cars, drinks beer, drives a Cuda, and has brass balls.

Meghan: What is your all-time favorite scary monster or creature of the night?

Chad: Does Michael Myers count? As far as creature, either The Thing or the monster from The Ritual.

Meghan: What is your favorite Halloween tradition?

Chad: When I was young, it was trick or treating, of course. Now that I’m older and the kids are too old for that, it’s watching a horror movie. But I do that nearly every day anyway.

Meghan: What is your favorite horror or Halloween-themed song?

Chad: The entire soundtrack for John Carpenter’s HALLOWEEN.

Meghan: Which horror novel unsettled you the most?

Chad: Communion by Whitley Strieber

Meghan: What is the creepiest thing that’s ever happened while you were alone?

Chad: Technically, I wasn’t alone, but my wife was asleep. About 25 years ago we were renting a place that had the bedroom windows facing a little one-lane alley that never had any traffic. It was a hot summer night and those windows (which were directly behind the head of the bed) were open. Just as I was falling asleep, I could hear footsteps in the alley, then I smelled cigarette smoke. The footsteps stopped right behind my head, and my dog looked out and started growling with his eyes on the bushes under the window. I was too afraid to look behind me, so I slid off the bed as quietly as I could and called 911, whispering in the phone. After the footsteps stopped right at the windows, I never heard them again. I was terrified.

Meghan: Which unsolved mystery fascinates you the most?

Chad: I can’t think of anything crime wise, but I get a kick out of Bigfoot and alien stuff.

Meghan: What is the spookiest ghost story that you have ever heard?

Chad: My son’s girlfriend showed me security camera footage of a woman in their house wearing a nightgown, walking off camera to the corner of their room for an hour, then coming back into view and leaving the room. They have no idea who it was, but it happened while they were sleeping.

Meghan: In a zombie apocalypse, what is your weapon of choice?

Chad: Samurai sword for sure

Meghan: Okay, let’s have some fun… Would you rather get bitten by a vampire or a werewolf?
Chad: Vampire
Meghan: Would you rather fight a zombie apocalypse or an alien invasion?
Chad: Zombies… far less threatening.
Meghan: Would you rather drink zombie juice or eat dead bodies from the graveyard? Chad: Won’t zombie juice turn me undead? If so, give me the body smothered in nacho cheese.
Meghan: Would you rather stay at the Poltergeist house or the Amityville house for a week?
Chad: 112 Ocean Avenue, here I come.
Meghan: Would you rather chew on a bitter melon with chilies or maggot-infested cheese?
Chad: You almost had me with the cheese, but I’ll take the melon.
Meghan: Would you rather drink from a witch’s cauldron or lick cotton candy made of spider webs?
Chad: Depends on what’s in the cauldron. I love frog legs, so I’m cool with that.

Boo-graphy:
Chad has written for Famous Monsters of Filmland, Rue Morgue, Cemetery Dance, and Scream magazine. He’s had dozens of short stories published, and some of his books include: Of Foster Homes & Flies, Stirring the Sheets, Skullface Boy, The Same Deep Water as You, The Pale White, The Neon Owl series, and Out Behind the Barn co-written with John Boden. Lutzke’s work has been praised by authors Jack Ketchum, Richard Chizmar, Joe Lansdale, Stephen Graham Jones, Elizabeth Massie, and his own mother.

Slow Burn on Riverside
When 18-year-old Jex moves into a new apartment, his roommate’s descent into drugs paves the way for mental illness, while Jex deals with their sexually assertive landlady. But when her teenage son shows up, things take a very dark turn.

The Neon Owl 1: When the Shit Hits the Van
Jinx is a record-collecting, middle-aged minimalist whose dreams of becoming a detective are waylaid by love and laziness. But when he inherits his late aunt’s rundown motel, The Neon Owl, his passion for investigative work reignites while he searches for answers as to who keeps shitting in the bushes. His findings lead to a full-blown murder mystery where he and new-found friend, Roddy, the elderly, one-legged handyman, set out to find the killer.

A crime noir-ish whodunnit rife with humor, grit, and ranch dressing.

GUEST POST: Catherine Cavendish

The Feast of Nicnevin

It’s Halloween again – or for those of us who prefer the old ways – Samhain.

We all know that this great and ancient pagan festival celebrates the crone. In other words, the old and wise woman more commonly known as a witch. She is associated with bringing us into life and helping us cross over into the world of the dead and she has many names. You may have heard of Hecate (or Hekate) – the three-headed goddess of Greek mythology (although her origins are probably far earlier). She is the goddess of witchcraft, the night, magic, necromancy, the moon and ghosts and is often depicted with a pair of flaming torches, or with dogs, keys, a snake. She knows about herbs, poisons, and all manner of magical arts, making her greatly revered among witches. She is also well documented. Consult your favorite search engine and you will find plenty of information on Hecate.

I would venture to suggest though that probably only those who are serious students of witchcraft or of folklore – Scottish folklore in particular – will ever have stumbled across the somewhat elusive and shadowy Nicnevin who, whatever her origins, has become a much-revered goddess among witches. She is a true crone who rides the night sky, clad in gray, preferring stormy nights and who commands a following of nymphs and ghosts who accompany her on her travels. She can predict the future, achieve mastery of both sea and land and her special festival is Samhain.

On that night when the veil between the living and dead is at its thinnest, Nicnevin reigns supreme. For many she is firmly linked to the better-known Scottish Queen of Winter – Cailleach. Certainly they are both tied to the festival of Samhain and are part of the trilogy of the year, and of life – represented by the Maiden (Bride or Bridget) who ushers in the spring growing season at Imbolc where the Mother takes over and nurtures life until we are back to the end of the old year and beginning of a new one – the tasks assigned to the Crone (Nicnevin or Cailleach).

In common with Hecate and Cailleach, Nicnevin’s symbols are associated with protection, divination and ghosts or spirits. Interestingly, she is often depicted with pumpkins and other gourds – and traditionally these were frequently carved with symbols of protection and used to light the path of the dying, illuminating their journey from this life into whatever lay beyond. So that’s where the Jack O’Lanterns came from!

Sir Walter Scott described Nicnevin as a ‘gigantic and malignant female…who rode on a storm and marshaled the rambling host of wanderers under her grim banner’. Nicnevin had extensive powers over sea and land, able to build mountains and large hills simply by dropping large stones from her apron or basket. Equally, she could change water into rock and sea into land. There is no tradition of her bearing children but because she was inextricably tied to the cycle of the seasons and therefore to the cycle of birth, life and death, she was worshiped as a mother goddess – similar in stature to Frigg in Norse tradition.

I said Nicnevin’s origins were shadowy and they are, because no one really knows where she sprang from. There are a number of theories, including the possibility that she may even have been based on a real person. As far as her name is concerned, it may derive from a Scottish Gaelic surname, ‘Neachneohain’, meaning ‘daughter of the divine’ but that is by no means certain. The first recorded mention of Nicnevin doesn’t arise until 1580 when court poet to King James VI of Scotland – Alexander Montgomerie – described her in verse:

Nicnevin with her nymphes, in number anew
With charms from Caitness and Chanrie of Ross
Whose cunning consists in casting a clew.

She then drops out of literature until John Leyden in the early 1800s described her as one of the “popular appellations” of the Queen of Fairies, Hecate, the great hag and others. Robert Cromek declared she was near kin to Satan, warning that she presided over ‘Halloween Rades’, causing mothers to warn their children to behave or they would be given to the ‘McNeven’. In his description she is portrayed as wearing a long gray cloak and brandishing a wand which she used to conduct her conversions of water into rock and sea into land.

As for the theory she was based on a real person, this remains a possibility. In May 1569, an accused witch known variously as Nic Neville or Nicneven was condemned to death and burnt at the stake. This was in St Andrews, Scotland but another contender is a nurse, Catherine Niven or Kate McNiven who hailed from Monzie. She also died at the stake, convicted of witchcraft although the date varies from 1563 to 1715 – the last date putting her firmly out of contention.

Whatever the truth of her beginnings, there is no doubt that Nicnevin is a force to be reckoned with – an all-powerful witch not to be dismissed lightly, despite the lack of information on her. Maybe she was once mortal, or maybe, like Hecate, not. But one thing is certain, if you travel out on a stormy night when the clouds race across the dark and troubled heavens, thunder rolls all around you and the rain lashes down on your face, take extra care. Do you see something flash by you, in seemingly impossible flight? Do you hear the beating of hundreds of wings as a massive flock of geese escort Nicnevin and her acolytes across the tempestuous sky?

Be certain, on such a night – especially if it is Samhain – Nicnevin is about. Perhaps you will call on her for help to develop your own psychic powers. If so, this little spell may help you:

The Crone Spell
Only to be performed on Samhain – the Feast of Nicnevin

To cast the spell, you will need:
Two teaspoons of dried mugwort
One teaspoon powdered elder leaves
Six drops cypress oil
One charcoal disc in a flameproof dish
One tall black candle, plus matches or a lighter
Mortar and pestle

Casting the spell:
In the mortar and pestle, blend together the mugwort, cypress oil and elder leaves and grind until it achieves a fine consistency capable of being sprinkled.

Light the charcoal and the candle while saying:
Nicnevin, goddess of the crossroads
Show me,
Guide my thread into the spaces between

Sprinkle the blended mugwort, cypress oil and elder onto the burning charcoal and inhale the aroma.

Close your eyes and picture yourself walking from an easterly direction toward a crossroads at sunset. Stop and face north. Concentrate and a dark figure will emerge and approach you. Nicnevin is now with you. She will crook her finger, beckoning you to follow her. You do so but when she takes you to a gateway, you do not pass through it on this occasion. Look at it carefully, study any symbols marked on it. When you are ready to move between worlds in your lucid/psychic dreams, you must pass through it or look for its symbols and follow them.

When you have memorized all you need to, you will find you can open your eyes. Your lucid/psychic dreams will be available for your summoning throughout the winter.

Invest in a Book of Shadows if you don’t already have one, and note down all your lucid dreams until Imbolc (February 1st).

    Boo-graphy: Following a varied career in sales, advertising and career guidance, Catherine Cavendish is now the full-time author of a number of paranormal, ghostly and Gothic horror novels and novellas.

    Her novels include: Dark Observation, In Darkness, Shadows Breathe, The Garden of Bewitchment, The Devil’s Serenade, The Pendle Curse, and Saving Grace Devine, among others.

    Her novellas include: The Darkest Veil, Linden Manor, Cold Revenge, Miss Abigail’s Room, The Demons of Cambian Street, Dark Avenging Angel, The Devil Inside Her, and The Second Wife.

    Her short stories appeared in a number of anthologies including Tomes of Terror, One of Us, and Haunted Are These Houses.

    She lives by the sea in Southport, England with her long-suffering husband, and a black cat called Serafina who has never forgotten that her species used to be worshipped in ancient Egypt. She sees no reason why that practice should not continue.

    Eligos is waiting…fulfill your destiny.

    1941. In the dark days of war-torn London, Violet works in Churchill’s subterranean top secret Cabinet War Rooms, where key decisions that will dictate Britain’s conduct of the war are made. Above, the people of London go about their daily business as best they can, unaware of the life that teems beneath their feet. Night after night the bombs rain down, yet Violet has far more to fear than air raids. A mysterious man, a room only she can see, memories she can no longer trust, and a best friend who denies their shared past… Something or someone – is targeting her.

    Flame Tree Press
    Amazon
    Barnes & Noble
    Waterstones
    and at good bookshops everywhere (on the shelf or to order)

    [Note: All photos are from Flame Tree Studio, Shutterstock, or are the author’s own.]

    AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Micah Castle

    Meghan: Hey, Micah. Welcome to Meghan’s HAUNTED House of Halloween. Thanks for coming here today to take part in this year’s Halloween Extravaganza. What is your favorite part of Halloween?

    Micah: Atmosphere. The fall season has just a feeling about it: cool breezes, dry leaves skittering on the sidewalks, colorful trees, cinnamon and bakery aromas, etc. If I could keep that feeling in a bottle and inhale it once in a while throughout the year, I’d probably be a bit happier during the other seasons.

    Meghan: Do you get scared easily?

    Micah: Not really, no. Though, being in absolute darkness still has that childhood fear of something lurking in the darkness.

    Meghan: What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen and why?

    Micah: I haven’t been scared of anything since I was a kid. As a kid, I was scared of the introduction of the X-Files and the video games Resident Evil and Silent Hill. But, the last movie that gave me that “Oh Shit!” moment was “that scene” from Hereditary.

    Meghan: Which horror movie murder did you find the most disturbing?

    Micah: I can’t remember any movie murders that really got to me, but the most disturbing movie I’ve seen as an adult was Antichrist, directed by Lars von Trier.

    Meghan: Is there a horror movie you refused to watch because the commercials scared you too much?

    Micah: No there was not, but I was scared of china dolls for a long while as a kid because of KKK Comeuppance from Tales from the Hood.

    Meghan: If you got trapped in one scary movie, which would you choose?

    Micah: Probably Trick ‘r Treat only because living in a small town so enthralled with Halloween would be awesome.

    Meghan: If you were stuck as the protagonist in any horror movie, which would you choose?

    Micah: There’s so many to choose from, but I’d enjoy Interview with the Vampire.

    Meghan: What is your all-time favorite scary monster or creature of the night?

    Micah: Vampires, hands down.

    Meghan: What is your favorite Halloween tradition?

    Micah: Trick-or-Treat, although—I know I sound like an old man saying this—nowadays it’s lost a lot of its luster since when I trick-or-treated as a kid.

    Meghan: What is your favorite horror or Halloween-themed song?

    Micah: Probably “Helen’s Theme” from Candyman.

    Meghan: Which horror novel unsettled you the most?

    Micah: The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum.

    Meghan: What is the creepiest thing that’s ever happened while you were alone?

    Micah: Unfortunately nothing creepy has happened around or to me while I was alone. Wish something would, at least then I’d have a story to tell.

    Meghan: Which unsolved mystery fascinates you the most?

    Micah: The ghost ship of Mary Celeste.

    Meghan: What is the spookiest ghost story that you have ever heard?

    Micah: I don’t know if it’s considered a ghost story, but the Mary Black folktale has always held a special, spooky place in my heart. You say “Mary Black” into a mirror in an entirely dark room three times, and she’s supposed to appear and cut you with her nails.

    Meghan: In a zombie apocalypse, what is your weapon of choice?

    Micah: Probably a gun or a car.

    Meghan: Okay, let’s have some fun…
    Would you rather get bitten by a vampire or a werewolf?
    Micah: Vampire. I don’t see any drawbacks and immortality is awesome.
    Meghan: Would you rather fight a zombie apocalypse or an alien invasion?
    Micah: Zombie apocalypse. At least we know sort of how to handle zombies, with aliens we have no clue what they could have.
    Meghan: Would you rather drink zombie juice or eat dead bodies from the graveyard?
    Micah: Drink zombie juice, only because drinking something is quicker than eating.
    Meghan: Would you rather stay at the Poltergeist house or the Amityville house for a week?
    Micah: Poltergeist, just overall a cooler place.
    Meghan: Would you rather chew on a bitter melon with chilies or maggot-infested cheese?
    Micah: Bitter melon with chilies. Not a fan of cheese… or maggots.
    Meghan: Would you rather drink from a witch’s cauldron or lick cotton candy made of spider webs?
    Micah: Cotton candy made from spider webs. I picture the witch’s cauldron to be swampy and God knows what they put in there.

    Boo-graphy: Micah Castle is a weird fiction and horror writer. His stories have appeared in various magazines, websites, and anthologies. He has three collections and one novelette currently out.

    While away from the keyboard, he enjoys spending time with his wife, spending hours in the woods, playing with his animals, and can typically be found reading a book somewhere in his Pennsylvania home.

    Reconstructing a Relationship
    Drew and Terry while out on a date suffer a terrible car accident. The boyfriend dies, but the girlfriend survives. Desperate to be with her love once more, Terry steals Drew’s brain from the morgue and escapes the hospital. She’s determined to bring him back, by any means necessary.

    Through years of reading ancient books, learning forgotten languages, and drawing symbols she cannot comprehend, Terry successfully gets what she wants… And, what she deserves.

    EXCERPT: Lee Matthew Goldberg

    It’s 1978 in New York City, and disco is prominent. As are mobsters, gritty streets, needle parks and graffiti-stained subways.

    Jake Barnum lives in Hell’s Kitchen. He’s a petty thief selling hot coats with his buddy Maggs to make ends meet and help his sick kid brother. At a Halloween party downtown, he meets a woman with a Marilyn Monroe mask who works for an organization called The Desire Card-an underground operation promising its exclusive clients “Any Wish Fulfilled for the Right Price.”

    As Jake becomes taken with its leader, a pseudo father and sociopath at heart, he starts stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. In other words…himself. But as he dives deeper in with the Card, begins falling love with Marilyn, and sees the money rolling in, clients’ wishes start becoming more and more suspect-some leading to murder.

    The first book in the Desire Card series, Immoral Origins follows those indebted to this sinister organization-where the ultimate price is the cost of one’s soul.

    The Desired Card 1: Immoral Origins

    The Twin Towers, majestic along the horizon, bringing a halt to the decline of lower Manhattan.

    I’d heard my pop speak of them this way. The tallest buildings in the world until the Sears Tower went up in ’73. Built at a time when New York’s future seemed uncertain, the towers restored con2dence. The Empire State sturdy like a man, the Chrysler sexy like a woman, the towers a show of incomparable mystique. That loony French dude walked a high-wire between them a few years back. The Human Fly hoisted himself up the south tower. I’d planned on taking Cheryl to Windows on the World for our anniversary, but now I’d need to 2nd a new girl to show-o3 the sights. Seeing the skyline re4ecting them on Halloween night, I thought that anything could be possible. Money for Emile’s surg‐ eries, really falling in love, moving out of my folks’, 2nding a job worthwhile of sinking my teeth into.

    Downtown resembled a wasteland so I was surprised when we entered a factory-like space. Turns out, Jack with the Nose’s uncle owned a toy distributor and let Jack have the place for a soiree. Andy Gibb’s “Shadow Dancing” pumped from out of the doors once they swung open. Packed house. Wonder Womans, Sandra Dees, Debbie Harrys, Chewbaccas, Andy Warhols, New York Yankees who just won the 75th World Series, John Belushi from Animal House, Mork from Mork and Mindy (Nanoo nanoo!), two Coneheads, a Superman, a Sid & Nancy couple, and about eight warring guys strutting around as John Travolta. Maggs said he was dressed as an undercover cop, which really meant he was too lazy to come up with a costume. “Can you dig it,” he’d say to anyone who asked.

    “Far out,” a few replied.

    “Keep your enemies close, right?” Maggs said, and everyone agreed cops were bogus.

    “Who are you?” a Chrissy from Three’s Company asked. “Robin Hood.”

    “Robin Byrd?”

    She was on so much coke, it had crusted around her nostrils. “Hood. Robin Hood.”

    She tapped her temple in deep thought. “What have I seen him in?”

    “Your nightmares,” I said, fucking with her but then she began to cry. Maggs rubbed her shoulder and led her away.

    “Don’t scare the lovelies,” he said.

    Jack with the Nose approached. I knew it was him, since his nose was really a sight. Not simply big, it had a presence, elbowing its way into conversations, bulbous and red like an old drunk’s, a whistle escaping from his nostrils every time he spoke.

    “Jack, you know Jake,” Maggs said. “He’s looking for work.”

    “Really, really?” Jack with the Nose asked. He was wearing a big purple pimp coat with a walking stick and large tinted sunglasses. “I work for Georgie.”

    “I’ve met Georgie.”

    “Yeah, how good are you at nabbing coats?” “That’s very specific.”

    “We’re…uh…a specific kind of organization.” “I just stole a Tiffany’s bracelet for my ex-girl.”

    “Coats are a lot bigger,” Jack with the Nose said, and popped a cigarette between his lips.

    “But do they have diamonds?”

    “Come down to the Fish Market at the Seaport tomorrow night, you can talk to Georgie there. We’ll find something for ya.”

    “Thanks, Jack, that’s real nice of you,” Maggs said.

    Jack with the Nose brushed it o” like it was no big deal, but it was clear he wanted adulation.

    “Yeah, real nice,” I managed to say.

    “Go,” Jack with the Nose ordered. “Mingle. Make some new friends. That Marilyn’s been eye fucking ya.”

    He pointed his cigarette through the throngs of the party, past a heap of sloshed dancers feeling each other up, to where a Marilyn Monroe in her iconic white dress was having a difficult time keeping it from billowing up, yet there was no wind tunnel under her feet.

    Clearly eye-fucking me unless she had a nervous tic, I knocked back a vodka shot being passed around and made my way over. She wore a mask, not of the plastic variety like a Halloween kid’s costume, but as if it had actually molded into her face. The hair was her own, styled perfectly, the color of sunrays. A vampy sway accompanied her movements as she danced to “Kiss You All Over” by Exile.

    Oh baby wanna taste your lips, wanna be your fantasy.

    Did she know that over my bed hung a poster of Marilyn Monroe from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes? That I’d seen Some Like It Hot every time it was rereleased in the theaters. I didn’t get along with my parents for the most part, but we had a love for movies in common. Maybe because you can go to a movie with people you normally argue with and no one has to speak. Maybe because movies seemed to calm Emile’s fits when nothing else did. Restau‐ rants were a no-no (he tended to throw food), but plant him in front of a big screen with a popcorn in his lap and the kid would go numb. For my folks, it gave them two hours o”. Marilyn Monroe, man, I was a pipsqueak when she died, so sad. But movie stars, they get to live on. Immortality at its finest. And at that Halloween party, she’d been resurrected for me, mouthing the words to “Kiss You All Over”.

    A whoosh of hot air pushed me towards her and we danced before we even spoke. Marilyn Monroe doing The Hustle, The Bump, The Bus Stop and The Lawnmower really a sight. I tried to keep up, but Disco ain’t my thing. Give me the Stones, the Beatles, Springsteen, and always Led Zeppelin. My door locked, a pair of Koss Pro4AAs headphones, and “Houses of the Holy” spinning on my record player, a good joint to kick in around “The Rain Song”. But this Marilyn clearly loved “Stayin’ Alive” so I aped all the strut‐ ting John Travoltas at the party so she’d keep on eye-fucking me.

    “I’m so hot,” she finally said, and I agreed she was hot but then she fanned her #ush mask and I realized she meant it was hot in here. “There’s a roof.” She pointed up to the ceiling as if I’d never heard of a roof before and laced her fingers in mine. We ascended a twisty staircase and popped up two stories higher on a roof with no guardrails. The Hudson River behind us, the World Trade Center at our feet like I could reach out and touch the towers. The down‐ town quiet and restless. The future held a much different outcome for it than how it appeared then.

    “I’m a genie in a bottle,” she said, in her cutesy voice, an exact replica of the screen legend.

    Under us, “Stayin’ Alive” boomed. I randomly pictured someone stabbed in the back, crawling to get away from their pursuer. My mind went weird like that sometimes.

    “Oh yeah?” I laughed. “What wishes can you grant?”

    She stopped swaying to the beats, dead serious. “Any wish fulfilled…for the right price. Aren’t you tired of stealing from the rich to only give to the poor?”

    I beamed. “You get my costume.”

    She took small steps toward the edge, peered down three stories. “Now I’m cold,” she said. “I can’t win.”

    “Here.” I removed my Robin Hood jacket and draped it around her arms.

    “So gallant.”

    I didn’t know what that meant, but I imagined it a compliment. “Who do you know at the party?” I asked.

    “No one. I was passing by, heard music, and wandered inside.” “What were you doing down here?” In my knowledge, nobody came to Tribeca at night, maybe a prostitute or two, but it was pretty lifeless otherwise.

    “Seeking a party like this and a kind of thief like you.”

    She tapped my nose with her long fingernail and smiled. I could see it vaguely growing under her mask.

    “Why Marilyn?”

    She thought about this for some time, as if she wanted to get the answer right.

    “She’s two personas, Norma Jean and Marilyn. Kinda like me. Kinda like everyone. The self we keep hidden and the one we reveal to the world.”

    “Very poetic.”

    “I work for a company that encourages this dualistic nature.” She lost me. Big words and such. The problem from never finishing high school. I must have looked confused because she continued by saying, “My boss believes we have these two sides. One deals with our traumatic pasts and we all have traumatic pasts, believe me. But you don’t always have to wallow in that sadness, you can be free.”

    “Sounds very Hare Krishna.”

    “It’s not religious at all. It’s about business. We fulfill wishes.” “Any wishes?”

    “For the right price, remember? What do you wish for?”

    I wanted to tell her about Emile and all the surgeries he needed. That my pop was working two jobs and even my ma was doing some side hustle to make bread. That I gave them a cut of everything I stole and resold, even though they were kind of chumps. My pop had opportunities he passed on because he didn’t find them kosher. There was a Georgie-type on our block who had even more lucrative jobs he offered my pop years ago but Pop turned him down because he didn’t “like that racket” and made sure I’d never do work for the guy either. Pop was a fool. He could’ve had all the money he needed for Emile’s surgeries and likely would’ve avoided jail, but he was too high and mighty. He pulled out his chest, declared himself “good”, and the conversation was closed. So if I could really wish for anything, it’d be for him not to be a dupe.

    I shuffled a lone Lucky Strike out of my front pocket and lit up. Filling my lungs and getting that queasy sensation I’d dreamed about all day.

    “I’m stuck, ya-know,” I said, like she was my therapist. A real face didn’t stare back, only this frozen expression of a mask. I zeroed on her lovely rubber birthmark.

    “You want more,” she purred. “Yes, yes.”

    “Yes, I…I dunno. It’s like I’m living, but I am really living?” “You’re not,” she said, swiping the cigarette from out of my mouth and placing it in the hole where her lips were visible. “I can see that all over you. No job, right?”

    I wanted the cigarette back, but was afraid to try. “I might be getting work from this guy Georgie…”

    “Fish,” she said. “That’s a lot of nothing. That guy with the nose you were talking to, he’s a lot of nothing. Small fish.”

    “And I’m guessing who you work for is a tuna?”

    Her dead eyes stared back.

    “A tuna? Like a big fish? I was trying to be–”

    “I get it.” She tossed the cigarette and put it out with her toe.

    “He’s an up-and-coming fish, let’s put it that way. And he’d like your whole…” She drew an imaginary circle around me. “Milieu. The steal from the rich and give to poor bit we’ll have to work on, though.”

    “So who do you grant these wishes to?”

    “Those who line our pockets. You can take from the rich, charge a fee as long as you give something else back to them. Banks do it all the time. Anyway…” She glanced again over the ledge, leaning close enough that I thought she might jump, the backdrop of the Twin Towers framing her beautiful aura. I held her arm.

    “Oh sweetie, I ain’t about self-sabotage,” she said. “I could’ve killed myself a long time ago when I was really down in the dumps, but the Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder told me to hang on because something bigger waited on the horizon. He was oh so right.”

    It was she who took hold of my arm then. Her touch frosty like she’d dipped her fingers in a bowl of ice.

    “Let me take you away from here,” she said. “Let me show you what you’re missing, Robin Hood.”

    “It’s Jake. Jake Barnum.”

    “Nice to meet you, Jake Barnum. I’m Marilyn Monroe.”

    I cocked my head to the side. She laughed.

    “What’s in a name?” she asked. “Your parents saw your birthed form and dubbed you Jake. They didn’t know you yet. They just assumed. It’s more powerful to name yourself.”

    “So what should I be called?”

    “You’re a long way from that accomplishment. But I have a feeling I know who you’ll be.”

    “And who is that?”

    “Why, Robin Hood himself. Mr. Errol Flynn.”

    Boo-graphy: Lee Matthew Goldberg is the author of ten novels including The Ancestor and The Mentor, the Desire Card series, and the YA series Runaway Train. His books are in various stages of development for film and TV off of his original scripts. He has been published in multiple languages and nominated for the Prix du Polar. He is the co-curator of The Guerrilla Lit Reading Series and lives in New York City.

    Favorite Halloween Memory

    I always say that, during the Halloween Extravaganza, I’m going to write some posts as well, but then I get so busy with all of this… and everything else… that I end up giving up on that idea, despite the list of “brilliant” ideas (cause anyone who knows me KNOWS that my brilliant ideas are anything but) to write about… This year, I’m making a point to share me as well.

    Halloween is one of my THREE favorite holidays… well, two, but only because I can’t get people to celebrate my birthday the way that I think they should haha.

    My love of Halloween came from my father (though my mother still appeases me, just as she did him when he was alive). Maaaaaaan, he did SUCH a good job when it came to decorating and adding the perfect scare factor. I even remember him turning on the record (yeah, I’m that old, and…?) of the scary music and making sure it was going as each trick-or-treater came to the door. This was HIS favorite thing.

    Today is the anniversary of the day my father passed away and I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately, all the fun we had, all the things he taught me, his dad jokes (way before dad jokes became cool), and even the embarrassing moments that I laugh about now. I lucked out having a great dad, even if he wasn’t able to see my sister and I grow up.

    One year, we had a Halloween party for Girl Scouts (if I remember correctly), neighbors, and trick-or-treaters, where my mom and dad worked for DAYS fixing up the garage and front yard to utter perfection.

    (This was back before you had to worry about creepers, but my family was always very family-oriented, so we did these things with everyone’s family included.)

    You came in costume, walked through all the scare (and some good fun) of the front yard, to the front of the garage, which was covered with black plastic sheeting and had strips hanging down over the “doorway,” to enter. Utter darkness… with a little bit of odd lighting throughout. And two tables… covered in black… and a lot of things you had to stick your hands into.

    It. Was. Amazing.

    Cold spaghetti noodles were intestines. Ketchup was blood. PEELED grapes were eyeballs. Almond shells for witches’ finger nails. Macaroni noodles that had cooled and stuck together sat on a platter to remind you of a brain.

    Even though I knew what these things were, with those lights off, you really believed that they were what they said they were.

    I remember being soooooo scared… and it was the best feeling in the world.

    Everyone got candy just for showing up, but people who made it through the “garage of terror” got a little extra, and of course my mom had brownies and cookies and Halloween drinks set up for everyone who was sticking around.

    We continued this tradition for a couple of years, and I never lost the excitement. In fact, thinking of it now, I still have the goosebumps and giddiness I had all those years ago.

    Between that and all the amazing costumes he “messed up” – one year I was a Disney cheerleader with a Minnie Mouse sweatshirt and a cheerleader skirt, which he promptly fixed so I was a DEAD Disney cheerleader who had been run over by a car – I had the BEST Halloweens a kid could ask for.

    James Walter Hyden
    March 10, 1948 to September 3, 1991
    The Best Dad EVER